JulietsSwanSong

Storming in my head
2003-04-07 23:44:51 (UTC)

when it rains...

You know that expression when it rains, it pours? Well, i
would like to add to other premises to this. 1- when it's
not raining, there's a drought, and 2- right now, it's
raining men... which actually evokes kinda funny mental
pictures when you think of it literally. : )

Anyway... Brian and I haven't talked since this
conversation that we had on thursday night. He took me
out to dairy queen, on a whim, or so it seemed to me..
he could have been planning the whole thing... but
anyway... we had fun... but I have trouble telling if the
chemistry for a relationship REALLY is there with him,
or if we're both just like, damn you look GOOD, and
want to hook up... which I really don't want... I hope I'm
not that kind of girl... anyway, yeah so i can never really
tell if the chemistry between us is right. i would really
like for ti to be but if it's not, it's not, and I really don't
wanna push myself into something that isn't right.

And then there's Kevin... Kevin and I met really
randomly, and kept in touch really randomly. We were
first introduced by my friend Matt, when I was taking a
breka in the study lounge. Their classd was canceled
and that was th eonly reason that he was there. After
sitting around talking for a while, i relaized that i had a
final do in my next class, and that I should probably do it
really quick... so I went off to do that, so distracted that i
didn't even think to get his numer, screen name,
anything... So about a week or two later, all the people
at JMU who have 45-70 credits have to take
assessment testing to see if the classes that they're
making us take are actually worth anything. They
placed each student in rooms depending on the last
two number of their student number. BOTH of our
numbers end in 97... how weird is that? So we saw
each other there, and after the test, went to get lunch.
We walked back to my building and waved goodbye... i
didn't even think about getting his info AGAIN! Then a
few weeks after that, my friend Asha and I decided on a
complete whim of mine to go out and look at the stars
in the quad because it was a really beautiful clear night
and I had been in doing work all night... so we go out,
and just meander over to this building called Wampler,
and WHO should walk by but Kevin? This time he got
smart, and asked for my number, and screen name,
and it wasn't long before we were talking on line.

So that's Kevin... and I'm still talking to Patrick a little bit
more than i used to... where in the heck do I get the
time for this?So there are three right now... I NEER had
dates in high school, i never really had guys lined up or
anything... and now I have three prospects... what the
heck is this? Why couldn' t they space themselves out
alittle bt more, and why can't I decide who i like? I feel
like tonight, Im' so exhausted because my body's
adjusting to the new hour ahead of time thing, and I
dont really have any work to do, so tonight is going to be
devoted to nap taking and boy pondering... who do I
want? why do I want him? what are the negatives and
positives? what kind of relaitonship would I have with
each one of them? what do they like about me? do I like
that they like those things about me? how LONG will
they like me for... see, this is why being a girl sucks.
When you're a guy, you're jus like "Uhhh... she's the
hottest, I'll go with her" and then if they get bored, they
leave her. Grrrrr... i want pieces of all of them in one
really awesome person! but this is like that thing that
kyle and I were talking about, when I couldn't decide
between Trent and Barry... and eventually I decided that
I wanted neither. ::sigh:: no wonder I'm single. even
when there are a FEW... I make sure that I always have
a place to hide.




Ad: