punk_babe_182

Care
2003-04-07 23:30:12 (UTC)

I was getting bored with hurting myself...

Date Written = unknown... possibly after march break
though...

Starting over again
I'd love to be the one to take your hand
This time feels so right,
So different.
I cannot explain.
Feelings. Emotions.
They overflow.
I feel so crazy sometimes.
Then I look into your eyes,
And it all makes sense.
Everything is falling into place.
_____________________________________________________

Written = Last Night

Razorblades, scissors, acetaminophen tablets,
All stare back at me.
Tempting me,
Taunting me,
Haunting me.
But I can't let myself take that fall.
So many thoughts in my head,
And I can't form words to tell you how I feel.
That is, if I really feel at all.
I know I feel you.
But I've become numb to pain.
The cool blade against my skin is relief.
My body cries out for the rush it will bring.
s e l f i s h . . .
Carve this into my flesh.
Deep, gashing, screaming for more.
I want to see the blood drip,
As the tears fall.
If I give in,
Then it's over,
In a flash.
So tonight,
Will not be the night.
I am not a whore.

How can you explain a feeling that is undefined? A feeling
you feel so strongly, that keeps coming back, but never
brings reason along with it? Words don't mean much if we
can't make sense of them. And what good are thoughts that
don't let us form words? Maybe I'm not crazy. I just need
sleep.

"Why do I even try? I don't know why. It's all for nothing"
- 'Kelly' - The Movie Life
_____________________________________________________

Thursday "Jet Black New Year"

Don't even take a breath
The air is cut with cyanide
In honor of the New Year

The press gives us cause to celebrate:
These air raid sirens
Flood barbed wire skylines
By artificial night,
As we sleep to burn the red
From our bloodless lives.

Tonight we're all time bombs
on fault lines.

Have we lost everything now?
We're walking like each other's ghosts
Around these silent streets
(the sedatives tell you everything
is alright)

Like calendars dying
at New Year's Eve parties
As we kiss hard on the lips
and swear
this year will be better then the last

Jet Black - the ink that spells your name
Jet Black - The blood that's in your veins
Jet Black - We say, "How long can we take this chance not
to celebrate?"

There's music playing
But we dance to the beat
Of our own black hearts
And draw diagrams
Of suicide on each other's wrists
Then trace them with razorblades

Fire to flames
"Strike Match."

Burn these words from our lips
As 'The Dagger' screams
"Love is dead"
and it's a "newspaper tragedy,"

Have we lost what we love?
Have we said everything?
Does it change anything?
Stare at the clock
Avoid at all costs,
This emptiness.

Ten seconds left
until midnight
nine chances to drown ourselves
in black hair dye
eight faces turned away
from the shock:
seven windows and six of them
were locked
five stories falling
four ever and ever
three cheers to the mirror
now there are two of us
can we have one last dance?

How long can we take this chance not to celebrate life?
_____________________________________________________

Anyway, on a happier note...

Alkaline Trio "Every Thug Needs A Lady"

I know it's dark here
You know that I'm scared, too
For some reason right now
Of everything but you
Right now, you're all that I recognize
You know I came here
When I needed your soft voice
I needed to hear something
That sounded like an answer
And I'll wait here and sometimes I get one

It's nothing I'll forget
When the moon gets tired
You're stuck to me every day
Believe in what I am
Because it's all I have today
And tomorrow who knows where we'll be

From here I can hardly see a thing
But I will follow anyone who brings me to you
For now, forever, for on and on and on

You know it starts here
Outside waiting in the cold
Kiss me once in the snow
I swear it never gets old
And I will promise you I can make it warmer next year
You know I came here
When I needed your soft voice
I needed to hear something
That sounded like an answer
Now I stay here and everyday I get one

So go plug in your electric blanket
We could stay in the southern summer wedding day
Go plug in your electric blanket
We can stay here




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