ami

when love is alive and hope is dead
2003-04-07 21:17:22 (UTC)

white lace

Yesterday...

morning: slept in until 12:00 which really isn稚 true,
because the time changed so it was actually 11:00 but it
was really 12:00.....*confused*........ya, it was
12:00.....haha whatever....so ya I woke up and layed in
bed until then and got up did my personals and went to eat
breakfast. I checked what was on much music, and I saw
that this thing imx was on so I put it on and you would
never guess who was on!!! it was AFI!! And I haven稚 seen
them on tv so I like shitted my pants and turned on the
volume and watched...and then the big bad wolf came to
knock me down....my brother. Insisting I turn it down, I
ignored at first, for I was glued to my set, so he comes
to turn down the volume. Well to make a long story short,
he ended up blowing my house down. And while I lay on the
floor bleeding from the mouth crying in frustration and
pain I went to tell my mother who I heard had just got out
of the shower, what had happened. Of course she was
appalled by both of our behavior and no punishment was
given. Now I don稚 want to make it sound that just because
my mouth was full of blood, that my brother beats the shit
out of me, he just pushes me around, with a little more
energy when he痴 mad of course, but he痴 a good kid, good
brother, just don稚 get him mad. Which of course I did. He
walked out of this not so happy confrantation with a few
scratch marks from my new nails ((I did not do it on
purpose, I was trying to push him away)), and a bite mark.

After-morning: I got dressed and decided to cut my hair. I
needed to do something. So its now a little shorter and a
bit prettier. I need to buy a curling iron though so I can
make curls in it, not just my natural waves I have. Then I
styled my hair, that didn稚 work, so I just put moose and
all was well. Oh and I got to record AFI on much music
anyways cuz they were on the countdown, so now I can watch
girl痴 not grey whenever I fancy. Afterwards, I ate a
burger alongside my mother and brother. All was well with
both of them, my brother and I are not in bad terms with
each other. We were both fucked up for a while. Then we
went to church. Oh God, that was a whole scenario. The
Mass was good, the priest only preached for 5 minutes cuz
their was gonna be a presentation afterwards. That痴 what
killed me. There was this couple that were missionaries
and both of them were so full of crap. The only reason I
didn稚 walk out was because my mother said it would be
disrespectful. She wanted to as well though. My brother
was laughing, he could tell they were full of brainwashed
shit as well.

Laterness: I came home, cleaned up my room, then went
outside and read by the pool, laying down next to my dog,
Pretty, and just chilled. It was cool. Then I went online
and there really wasn稚 anyone on, so I looked for free
codes for a dead or live journal. Not successful though,
and kinda pissed some people off...but oh well...

My father is leaving tomorrow for a buisness trip in
southern Mexico. Then he is gonna visit our family in
Mexico City. They are all gonna be so happy to see him,
mroe then usual cuz of the hospitalization and all. So I知
really glad that he can visit them. I wish I could go down
there too. My grandparents kick ass. They are both so
sweet and my grandma makes me some rolled tacos that I
swear are just the most delicious things in the world. I
could die happy from those. And my aunt makes tortas and
those are to die for as well. And ya....but I can稚, so oh
well. Another day. He痴 gonna leave me money to go
shopping with Kailah when she gets back from Palm Springs.
We池e shopping buddies, which is cool. I知 finally gonna
get new shoes. I don稚 know what to get though, the
addidas that Jade and Hunter have that kick ass, or my
mary janes....hmm...I知 gonna get them both, but it痴 a
tough choice which I should but first. Imma have to ask my
shopping buddy. And I知 gonna get new clothes, which I
haven稚 gotten in forever as well. I知 going to miss my
father so much. Now that he got back its like so cool to
have him here, cuz hes so freakin annoying that I love him
so much. And hes so corny that its funny you know, its
real funny. Hes awesome. Sometimes when he goes on
buisness trips I sleep on his side of the bed with my
mother. I love that bed its like so comfy and always warm
and big cuz it痴 a king size bed and when I wake up I get
to watch television. Whenever I get into that bed I always
just wanna go to sleep. Its like Ryan痴 bed I suppose,
comfy and big. And my bed, its really comfy, but its
small, so it just gets ruled out of that big and comfy
category.

I知 going to use Tino痴 method of saying names of people
I知 mad at.....I知 so fucking mad at ** I swear, it pisses
me off more then it saddens me and I totally know I知
being used, and then ** gets mad at me??!!!??? its total
bullshit. And its not like ** cares anyways. I mean
((she/he)) doesn稚 fucking care if I live or die, the only
reason ((he/she)) says that ((she/he)) does is cuz then
((he/she)) won稚 have anyone to throw their dirty laundry
at. I mean for fun and games ((she/he)) has its person to
have it with, but when the tears come its up to me to wipe
them away. And its not like I知 going to ignore their
sorrow and just walk away cuz that痴 just messed up, but
I知 gettin so fucking sick of it. And its been like this
for the past 6 or more months. I expected change but this
is just fucking bullshit. And of course ** is just a blind
ass lunatic who doesn稚 even notice what the hell is going
on and supposedly ((he/she)) knows me well. Knows me well
my ass. I swear. I知 fucking sick of it, and I don稚
fucking want to let it get to me, but ya, you swear like
this is something that can just disappear like a
butterfly, its gonna fucking follow me around, and I知 the
one who suffers cuz of it, not ((her/him)) cuz I actually
care unlike ((him/her)). Why won稚 you fucking grow up
already???!!!!!! And then ((her/him)) complains about
things that don稚 even interest ((him/her)) you know? Its
like if you don稚 like it don稚 pay attention to it. And
seriously I can just say who it is right now and they
won稚 even fucking know cuz its not like ((him/her)) reads
it anyways. Which I think is totally fucked up because **
is ** ** and its something I would do for ((him/her)). I
mean this isn稚 a just fun and games thing that I write 3
words when I知 bored....it actually means something to me
unlike I do to ((her/him))

ok im done...




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