2003-04-07 21:10:26 (UTC)

New girl.

So I met this girl on Friendster. She is fucking hot.
Britney Spears with dark brown hair. I went over to her
house and around 1 in the morning. She had emailed me after
seeing my picture and asked me if I want to make out. I
said hell yeah.

Her name is Lauryn and she was every bit as hot as she
looked in her picture. She is rich and flies around to
nearly everywhere constantly. She offers me the bit of
glamour I desire in my life. She asked if she could
handcuff me to the bed and I almost said yes. We did not
end up doing anything, but we are going on a date this
week! Yay. I may get laid by a woman for the first time.
Though I got an IUD put in last week and have been getting
laid by my man on a constant basis, though Honey, if you
are reading this (which he is not)just because I cannot get
pregnant does not mean I want you to shoot your stinging
poison sperm inside of me. Do it again and I will bite your
tesitcles off with my razor sharp teeth and feed it to the
little demon that lives in my colon.

Here is the kicker though.
When I went over to this girl's house to meet her, who
would happen to come by my house but oh my god oh my god oh
my god, the other girl I am so crushing on. I swear to God
this is my luck. She was there for days bit silly me came
home at 5 in the AM and missed her completely.
I am still stalking her on her online journal though. She
hardly updates it, though which is frusterating. If she
only knew I nearly jack off to her writings....

Meanwhile, I am getting a new huge engagement ring
tomorrow. It is platinum and one carat. Dare I say bling
bling? There. I said it. Now I must go hang myself.

Bareback sex rules. I swear I was fucked so good the other
day I was literally growling.

Is anybody listening to me?
After some encouragement (2 total emails encouraging me to
write) I am back and will try to write more faithfully. I
thought no one cared. I swear there will be dirty details
coming soon. I will fool around with this girl. Though I
move slow. I am almost preditorial I am noticing.