Anrui Kurayami

Kurayami's Tears
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2003-04-07 18:28:54 (UTC)

Break me, Shake me

Current mood: dunno really

Current music: Savage Garden - Truly, Madly, Deeply, Mariah
Carey - Never too Far, Mariah Carey - Hero
_______________________________________________________

Hey.

I'm a little... weird today. I've been thinking, especially
about my empathy.

It seems when I think too hard about it, it doesn't happen
so much. If I want it, I have to relax and forget it.

Another thing I've realized - I don't think I will ever
love anyone enough to give them all of me, except God. I am
my own person, and while some people might not mind me -
the rages and strange moods I can fly into for no reason -
I wouldn't want to hurt them. If I ever love someone
enough, I'll see how it goes, but i love Suiren and even
her.... I wish to protect her from me. I don't think I will
ever share my body with anyone, nor truly my mind.

Suiren doesn't believe me, anyway. She doesn't understand
me any more.

I've been really clumsy. People say I'm doing it on
purpose, but I swear I'm not. I think its just a phase,
though i wish I would stop dropping things. Mopping up a
mixture of rice and coke from the floor is not high on
my 'nice to do' list.

Untitled Fourteen is coming along well again, thank god. I
thought I had lost it.

When I am older, i think I will join the real RAF. They
will put me through uni, and I can get a degree and all
that as a lawyer, and still get my wings. I think I would
like to fight for Britain... stain our flag with my own
blood. Heheh. I'm a poet at soul, I think.

Seriously, if I die in the RAF, they will carve the wings
onto my gravestone. Maybe it will give me wings.

Recently, I have been thinking a little more about
religion. I know I have been neglecting my beliefs, but
now...

I've been having a debate about the morality or immorality
of gay/bisexual relationships. As probably obvious, God has
come into this a lot. [Obviously I am suporting the
morality.]

But now, I realize that whatever anyone else thinks about
me, God will still love me whatever i do. Everytime i feel
the cross bumping against my skin, I will try to remember
God's love and devotion, and what He means to me. He is
worth more than anything in this world, and of course He is
better than all of us.

Much Love
~Anrui Kurayami~


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