Anrui Kurayami

Kurayami's Tears
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2003-04-06 11:08:53 (UTC)

Crash and Burn

Current mood : happy ^_~

Current music: Busted -- Crash and Burn (She said no),
Savage Garden -- Break me Shake me, Savage Garden -- Truly
Madly Deeply, Bryan Adam's -- Everything I do


Well, I haven't written for two days (?). I'll update you
on stuff then.

Paul knows that I'm bi, and he's threatening to tell all
the group. Most already know, but still. He's blackmailed
me into never saying anything bad about him, or he will
tell people.

Oh well. Whats done is done, though I have no idea how he
found out. Paul is twisted... I feel that with my empathy.

He wants to control people's lives and hurt them. Suiren
says he's not that smart, but trust me he enjoys it.

Suiren.... is changing. I no longer feel that link with her
through my empathy. Why does she want me to change myself?
I can't! My voice will always be this high, I won't talk in
a yorkshire accent, I can't change the country my parents
come from, I can't change my family, I can't change the way
i think! God dammit, aren't friends supposed to love each
other whatever they are like!?! She doesn't even believe me

I can't trust her anymore. AND I HATE IT! She is my first
love, but I can't even connect with her as a friend anymore.

I went shopping with Mimisuku [Cat - other best mate]. I
bought toe socks and books. She got a necklace and some
earrings, and we caught the bus back.

We went to a field in Ossett, and these kids from
Chickenley came along, and they decided they didn't like
me. Then they wanted to hit us over the head with their
trainers, but I said they could try and stood up.

Suiren, of course, thinks I handled it completely wrong. I

Oh my Suiren... please come back. I'm losing you.

Much Love