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2003-04-05 21:57:58 (UTC)


I'm tired of this site sending me reminders to use my
diary. I'll get around to it when I can! Anyway, the
semester is slowly fading away. I want to say that I'm
happy because I'll be happy to not be doing work, but what
I'll be doing for the summer might turn out to be hell.
Actually, I know it will be hell. But it's something that
I'm choosing to do, so I can't really complain. Hey, at
least I won't be in Milledgeville! Thank goodness for
that. I'm a lil excited about my plans for the summer. I
know it's going to change me....whether it will be a lot
or a little....I'm not really sure. But I'm definitely
ready for it. Anyway, the boys.....ummmmm......that's
always an interesting subject. Well, the big crush I had
on Daniel is still under way, but you know me....one day I
feel it, then the next I'm unsure about the whole thing.
It's like, he shows interest, but not as much as I would
like him to. BUT I know if he were to show that much
interest, then I wouldn't like him. Yeah, complicated as
it may sound....all females tend to be like that. I'll
just admit to mine! But anyway, I haven't really talked to
Leroy. He has been.....I don't know. When I send him text
messages, he normally responds, but for the past couple of
days he hasn't responded at all. Well, once he did, but it
was something so small that he could have kept that bit. I
don't know what's up w/ him. I can't really say that I
feel the same about Leroy at all. Sure, I've said stuff
like this time and time again....but I really don't. Sure,
I've said that too. I don't know who to prove to anyone
that I'm over the whole thing. I guess I'm not really
convincing. I'll walk around and say stuff like "I miss
Leroy" or "I wish I could hear Leroy's voice right now" I
don't know why I say it. Even after I talk to Daniel, I'll
say something about Leroy. It's not that I want that boy,
but he is just always me excuse to not let anyone else
affect me. Like, Daniel will say something to me that is
really sweet, but I'll tell myself in the back of my head
that Leroy once said stuff like that to me and look where
our friendship is right now. So basically, I keep letting
Leroy get in the way of things. And it's not even like he
has to do anything....I do it myself. I just have to stop
doing it because there is no future for me and him, so
there is no point in letting something I really don't care
to have hinder me from getting something that I really
want. Plain and simple-xoxoxo