duhs world
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2003-04-05 04:35:14 (UTC)

left out

i always hate feeling left out but thats has become my
life. I care for very few people now a days and some of
them take advantige of it and i am tired of the bull
shit. i just want to let everyone know that cuz its
true. i just want to so thanx to someone that actually
can say sorry for something that they had no control
over. ur the best and u know who u r. and yes i do
forgive u. and dont worry i will always be there for u no
matter what so email me at [email protected]

y do i care so much about him y???? i guess its cuz its my
first real love and it will always be. i wont forget him.
no matter how much he hurts me or makes me cry. or how
much he tells me he is going to do something and not
ending up doing it. i am still here. if everyone knows
the song bryan adams "everything i do" that song was
writen a while ago and it tells what i do for him.
sometimes i just wish i could just turn over and die but i
wont cuz i know there is hope. hope of me seeing him or
hope of me taliking to him online or on the phone. i like
just hearing his voice and i love it when he used to
whisper in my ears but now i have none of that. it makes
me cry. it makes me cry thinking of him with someoen
else. it also makes me cry thinking of how much i hurt him
and how much i want him back. i never knew what i had
till i lost him. and i lost him for good and i dont get y
i keep tring with him cuz i just feel i can get him back
but i doubt i ever will. i just need someone to tell me
that it could happen or someone to tell me the truth that
it will happen. so maybe i can try to move on. i wake up
adn i think him and i also go to sleep thinking of him. i
dream of him. i sit and stare at a picture of him that i
have for hours and it makes me feel he is there holding me
in his arms. but i never can tell if its my mind or
something inside telling me that it will happen again. i
dunno if it will tho i mean hes my bestfriend but he can
put me in tears so easily and it hurts that he can do
that. i just sit back and think i did have him and i will
never have him again adn it hurts that i wont. i just
need someone that i care about to care for me.

y do i keep making myself think i have a chance with u???
y do i think i ever will get u back??? y do i sit there
and let u and ur friends walk all over me??? y do i keep
kicking and pulling my way through to get u back??? y do i
try??? y do i keep putting myslef throught this making
myslef cry when people lie to me??? y do i trust
girls ???? y did i sleep with 2 other people when i really
cared for someone so much??? y do i keep tring to make
things better but end up making them worest??? y do Bitch
keep fucken with me and u??? y try to get u back??? y give
u money?? y keep tellign u i love u???? y keep fighting
for what i wont have again??? y try???

well i hope some peopel will get this point and i hope
others will try to atleast answer some of theses questions.

just remeber this quote:
*"Me, Im scared of everything Im scared of what I saw, of
what I did, of who I am. And most of all Im scared of
walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my
whole life the way I feel when Im with you"*

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