random scribbles
2003-04-04 00:44:14 (UTC)

very drunk right now

[music - it sounds like the ET theme tune...]
[mood - uhhh... too drunk to think properly?]

today at school officially SUCKEd.so bad the revue went
pretty well in fact, but at other times lucy nudge alana
well everyone had brought in this huge bottle of vodka
were just being very !aaargh look at us, drunk in school
how cool ar we?" you know? it fucked me offl

not wfor lack of trying. thanksdyou nudge, i love you.

----making an effort to type properly now---

deep breath.
i couldnt wait to get out of there. and now i have 3 weeks
away from that vile place, and thats 3 weeks too few, but
thats all i got.

urm, there are 31 users for the song im trying to download,
but i only got 2. whyd that happen? ask.

this evening; howver made up for all the shittiness of this
whole past fortnight or month or however long its been. we
went to roadhouse, covent garden, me faye anna s anna a and
harry. had so much fun. teh drinks there are damned cheap.
hence ,my currne tstate

i ended up pulling abou 5 different guys wich ok perhaps
thats a littl;e whoreish or somthing but whatever. im sick
of billy. and of sad obsessions. and of not feeling good
enough for anyone. and 2 of them were really fit, 1 was in
fact exceedingly sexy, everyone thought so. so there :p

i dont know if im trying to prove something to myself or
everyone else. and i kept thinking about how fucking
beautiful billy is. and if he would just hold me in his
strong arms and look at me with his brght blue eyes and
uter those words can we start over at i love you? then i
would be so so happy. i think i do feel like i need to spit
in lucys face, because shes betrayed me, its morethan i can
handle sometimes.

i will stop and go to bed. im making a fool of myself. if
you were here, you'd be laughing at me and trying to sober
me up.

"oh! this song really reminds me of my virginity"
"well it turned out that he wasnt one of the limbo-ers at
all, he was actually one of the steel drummers"
who could possible say these things but anna? shes
providing me with such sweeet relif from everything at the
moment. and every time i feel crappy>>>


i miss him. i really do. it sucks.