Timothy

Jack's Twisted Kingdom
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2003-04-03 07:17:36 (UTC)

lucid dreams

had nightmares so real you thought
they were real?

i do...

all my dreams are lucid...

i remember most of them..

every night...

sometimes, i don't remember the
nightmares...

but i've scared those who've been
in bed with me, and some who've
been in the same room...

i remember this one time, daria was
on the floor to the left of me, we were
staying at dans place, maybe about
5 or 6 of us..

anyways, she was a girl i really liked, but
there wasn't anything going to come of it,
she couldn't sleep, it was sometime before
the sun rose, 4am, somthing like that

she said, i started breathing heavilly,
then i started to shake, and move my
arms around violently, she said i almost
smacked her in the head..

then, i Sat straight up... opened my eyes
gasped... looked around, and then fell back
down on the pillow...

i don't remember... she was freaked out..
she didnt go back to sleep, but she watched
me the whole night, and curled up beside me,
brushing my hair, and just watched me..

when i woke up, around noon, everyone else
was up and gone, or cooking something in
the kitchen, watching tv...

dan asked me if i slept ok, i said, just fine, why?
oh, are you sure you didn't have a bad dream?
i said, now that i think about it, i had a dream about
swimming, or skydiving.. i couldn't remember...

then he told me about daria, and what she said had
happened.. i was like... wha?

a couple of weeks later, people were asking me
about my dreams and nightmares... i said, lying,
that i never remembered any of my dreams...

i always remember my dreams...

i always remember the nightmares...

i don't dream....

i live in the rancid cacophony of my own
minds dreams...

which made flesh... are stuff of horrors...

i don't like to talk about them...

but i will to those who ask...

i generally do forget them... my dreams
and nightmares i mean...

an hour, 4 hours later...

there have been days, when i will have a
lucid nightmare and think that for several
hours...

that is was real... sometimes, my own mind
plays tricks on me...

and i lay on my futon, near refusal to beleive that
i could be that stupid, or lazy, or unlucky as the
case may be... and lie there... not wanting to
face the world...

and then, i fall asleep again... and i wake...

knowing, that i am truly awake...

or perhaps... not knowing... but..

understanding? perhaps...

i know not...

i once took part in a dream survey, sort of
like at psyche test thing...

and i don't think i ever got the results back..

someone, i think it was tara, suggested i keep
a dream diary...

the problem, thought i scoffed the idea, is that

i don't dream...

I Nightmare...


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