Timothy
Jack's Twisted Kingdom
lucid dreams
had nightmares so real you thought
they were real?
i do...
all my dreams are lucid...
i remember most of them..
every night...
sometimes, i don't remember the
nightmares...
but i've scared those who've been
in bed with me, and some who've
been in the same room...
i remember this one time, daria was
on the floor to the left of me, we were
staying at dans place, maybe about
5 or 6 of us..
anyways, she was a girl i really liked, but
there wasn't anything going to come of it,
she couldn't sleep, it was sometime before
the sun rose, 4am, somthing like that
she said, i started breathing heavilly,
then i started to shake, and move my
arms around violently, she said i almost
smacked her in the head..
then, i Sat straight up... opened my eyes
gasped... looked around, and then fell back
down on the pillow...
i don't remember... she was freaked out..
she didnt go back to sleep, but she watched
me the whole night, and curled up beside me,
brushing my hair, and just watched me..
when i woke up, around noon, everyone else
was up and gone, or cooking something in
the kitchen, watching tv...
dan asked me if i slept ok, i said, just fine, why?
oh, are you sure you didn't have a bad dream?
i said, now that i think about it, i had a dream about
swimming, or skydiving.. i couldn't remember...
then he told me about daria, and what she said had
happened.. i was like... wha?
a couple of weeks later, people were asking me
about my dreams and nightmares... i said, lying,
that i never remembered any of my dreams...
i always remember my dreams...
i always remember the nightmares...
i don't dream....
i live in the rancid cacophony of my own
minds dreams...
which made flesh... are stuff of horrors...
i don't like to talk about them...
but i will to those who ask...
i generally do forget them... my dreams
and nightmares i mean...
an hour, 4 hours later...
there have been days, when i will have a
lucid nightmare and think that for several
hours...
that is was real... sometimes, my own mind
plays tricks on me...
and i lay on my futon, near refusal to beleive that
i could be that stupid, or lazy, or unlucky as the
case may be... and lie there... not wanting to
face the world...
and then, i fall asleep again... and i wake...
knowing, that i am truly awake...
or perhaps... not knowing... but..
understanding? perhaps...
i know not...
i once took part in a dream survey, sort of
like at psyche test thing...
and i don't think i ever got the results back..
someone, i think it was tara, suggested i keep
a dream diary...
the problem, thought i scoffed the idea, is that
i don't dream...
I Nightmare...
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