Welcome to own demise
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2003-04-02 23:23:28 (UTC)

beached whale

oh my god. ive eaten sooooo much in the past few days i
feel sooooooooo gross. :(

i havent taken my phentermine since last thursday, so that
could be a reason. i feel soo fat and yucky. blah! i hate
eating. food sucks. esp. really yummy food.... its the

so lately ive been gettin kinda mad at myself for
something stupid.

ok like...... albert was kinda pissin me off bc i hadnt
talked to him in a few days. okay cool. ive gone weeks w/o
talkin to him b4, whats different now? is it bc i ssaw him
last week im startin to think scertain ways? i find mself
startin to get jealous for nothin. i mean, im like
assuming that hes been gettin some ass since he mnoved out
there.... but im bneing unreasonable. the fact of the
matter is im not his girlfriend... i dont think
anyways.... the whole note thing was absolutely adorable,
but i dunno if it means we're goin out now or if he was
just fuckin around. i dont even care that he lives so far
away i wishi was his girlfriend. :( anyways, i feel ike i
am sometimes, and sometimes i feel like im just a piece of
ass. it's fucked up i shouldnt feel like that... but i do
sometimes... and i keep finding myelf gettin upset if he
doesnt call me back when he says hes gonna, or when he
tells me to call him back and he doesnt answer. i like
start gettin these complex lil enactments in my head that
hes like gettin head as i call him and he doesnt pick it
up bc its me. god i want to assume the best in him and i
do, i totally trust him but at the same time ill always
have my doubts. i wish i would
have asked him when i had the chance. true i can still ask
him but its a lot harder to lie to someone to thier face
than on the phone i think. grrrrr....

anyways, imma go, i might add more later depends on how i