Just a guy

Logic of the Insane
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2003-04-02 19:40:31 (UTC)

I don't know.

This is our last day in the computer lab, so I don't
think that I will be making very frequent updates anymore,
but it's not like anyone is really reading this anymore
anyway, so it doens't matter.
I spoke with my friend Bethany and she is very good at
making everything seem good and adjusting your veiw to the
bright side, and I feel somewhat better, but the whole
things still bugs me. I got a call from Cico yesterday, and
he never calls me during the week, then I talked to him
online later and he said that he thought that I was mad at
him or something. I don't know why he would think
that. . .then Jessica was online last night and she was
being very cold towards me, but she said that she's having
some women's troubles, and that's why. . .I guess, but then
earlier today, she was even colder. I don't know what's
going on. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one there, and
although there are people all around me, I am on a
different plane of exsistence or something.
Anyway, on to happier news. . .Jessica Mayorga called me
last night. She was told me here schedule, and that
explained why she hadn't called me in so long. She works
for the Sheriff's Department now, Mon-Fri, 1-5pm. Then, On
Mon, Tue, and Wed, she has dance class from 5:30 until like
9 or so. Then on Thursdays, she has choir practice for her
church (which she has started going to again Ü) from 6
until 9. Fridays, she has gymnastics from 6-9. Then on
Saturdays, she has a dance class in Moorpark from like 9-3.
And on Sundays, she sings in the choir at her church at
either 9 or 11. I wish that she had more free time, but
when she has free time, she seems to get into trouble and
that's why she likes to keep busy. I guess it's a good
I still don't have an idea about prom. . .Beth says that
I should ask Jessica anyway, but I don't know. . .I can't
right now, and I wont for a few days anyway. Maybe I'll ask
Bellissima anyway. . .if I ask, she'd go, but I don't think
that she really wants to go with me. . .besides, it'd
probably interfere with her schedule. Other than those two,
I can't really think of anyone else to ask. I don't
know. . .this whole thing kind of sucks.
Last night I was talking to Meghan Brandon and we were
discussing how much presure their is in society to
concentrate on superficial things, outward appearance and
so forth, and it's true. Things would be so much better in
life if judgements weren't made and standards weren't set
on appearance. Life would just function so much better and
be so much more advanced and civilized. But it's not
reality, and that's something that we all have to face at
one point or another. High School seems to bring it all
crashing down on us though, doesn't it?
I don't know why I want to get a girlfriend so badly. I
mean, I know why. . .but I have also seen my friends go
through it and I know what happens. The friends I used to
hang out with are all gone, paired off with some
girl. . .and in three of the cases, I kind of helped it
happen. . .but that's leaves me alone, the third wheel. I
brought it on myself, and maybe that's why I want one so
bad, because I don't want to be alone. I don't know. It's
probably that and the age. For some reason, it's just a
natural drive that we have, even if it's against our better
Oh well, I've complained enough for today I think. But,
I guess we'll see. Till next time. . .

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