Just a guy

Logic of the Insane
2003-04-01 19:32:11 (UTC)


Well, Prom is May 17. About a month and a half away, and
I don't have a date yet. I have had several people in mind,
but after some thinking or other factors, I am left without
a clue. At first I was going to ask Meghan, but I thought
about it and I don't think that she would make that good of
a Prom date just because of the ways she is. Nothing bad,
it's just not what I want my Prom night to be like.
Next, I was thinking about Jessica B., and this is where
the concearns come into play. Recently, Jessica and I have
started hanging out a lot with the Co-Advisor of the
Theater Team, Cico. But I noticed some things this past
weekend when we were at his house and at his sister's
house. Here's the two day breakdown:

Friday night, we were at Cico’s sister’s house and they
were sitting next to each other all cozy and whatnot, but
that’s no big deal. He started rubbing her feet and stuff
like that which was a little odd to me, but I didn’t really
think about it. Then on Saturday, we were at Cico’s house
and they were drinking like crazy, but Jessica had to leave
at 11. So Cico always follows her home to make sure that
she gets there okay, and I walked with them to go too, but
Cico told me not to go, just to chill out at his house
until he got back, and I kind of got a little suspicious.
So I called Jessica on her cell like 5 minutes later and
she wasn’t home yet, she said that she stopped at the Jack
in the Box to go to the bathroom, but it was past 11 and I
thought that they closed earlier, so it made me even more
suspicious. So then I called Cico on his cell and he said
that he was going to Blockbuster to drop off a video for
her, but I asked why he wasn’t following her home because
she said that she was at Jack in the Box. Well, he got kind
of flustered and I thought that he was lying to me because
they were actually somewhere else and doing something that
they didn’t want me to know about. Jessica calls me when
she gets home to let me know that she got there okay, but
she didn’t call and 20 minutes had gone by since they left,
so I called her cell again and she said that she was at
home and already in her PJ’s and that she just forgot to
call me. And then Cico walked up like 3 or 4 minutes
later. . .so the whole thing was kind of “fishy”.
The yesterday, Jessica called me when I was in
Ventura and I kind of beat around the bush and called her
on it in an unobvious way, but she got all defensive and
then stopped talking all together, so I don’t know what is
going on, but I don’t like it. And I heard from Greg that
she and Cico are going to a Foo Fighters concert sometime
soon and maybe a Coldplay concert too. . .and then
yesterday, Cico invited Jessica to his brother’s house, but
not me. So you can see where my concearns are coming from.
All of this plus the few select people that I have talked
to about it have almost convinced me that something is
going on.
The only problem now is that this is much more serious
than just not having her as a date for prom. She is 16 and
Cico is like 23 or 24, I'm not too sure. Plus, he is
officially affiliated with the school, which means that if
something is going on, he could get into a lot of trouble
for it. So I don't know what he is thinking, and even more
so, I don't know what the hell she is thinking. I guess I
am just making this whole thing a bigger deal because I was
begining to like her as more than a friend, but when I
think about even the possiblility of them being together,
it makes me sick to my stomach.
I don't know for sure, though. . .and until I do, I
can't do anything about it. But if I find out for sure, I
will be very tempted to go to the authorities about it. I
mean, Cico is my friend and all, but I just don't agree
with this at all. But, like I said, these are all just
concearns and suspicions. I don't know anything for fact,
but the few people that I have talked to about it all have
already been suspecting something between them. . .I can't
believe I never saw it before. Anyway, back to my stupid

Prom. . .I don't know who to ask, but it's kind of hard
to concentrate with this whole Jessica thing going on in my
head. Noe is trying to hook me up with Justine, but she is
already going with Greta (Junior) so I don't think so. But
Noah(Noe) says that if I ask, she'd go with me, and I would
probably be hanging out with Justine, Greta and Kisha all
night. Not a bad trio at all. In fact, they are three very
cute girls and I have to admit, it would be fun. . .but
it's just not me. I don't know.
I don't know who to ask. I could ask Jessica M. to go with me, I
did a long time ago, but she said that I would probably want to go
with someone who was still in High School, so she said that I
shouldn't ask her. Besides, she and I haven't really been talking all
that much. I don't know what happened between us, but we aren't the
same as we used to be. I went with her to the Junior Prom and I just
the pictures back yesterday, so when I saw her in them, I wanted to
go with her to Senior Prom too, but I don't think that she wants to
go with me.
Well, the bell's about to ring, so until next time. . .