redstarfish2

No Matter How Hard I Try...
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2003-04-01 18:18:11 (UTC)

alone time...

Hey! What's up? Not all that much here...just "researching"
for my History project. :D Yeah, see all this researching?
It's nice. :D I'm hoping Trish will leave and go to Evan's
and mom will stay at work till 5:00 like usual so I can
have my alone time. Yesterday, my sister came home instead
of going to Drill, and my mom came home at 3:00. It really
sucked...I had NO free time...to myself...where I can just
chill out and relax. It's really all I have, cuz I'm still
in trouble. Well, I have my phone...but Terry worked
yesterday and he works today...so I need my time to myself
to do what I want to do. But, at any rate, I'm REALLY
REALLY wanting my alone time. And I'm bored and stuff along
those lines...
***
hmmm...where did the Pink Panther go? hee hee...(I miss
that show!)
***
My mom still wont let me ride with Terry. She says if I
have to ask, the answer is probably know. So I was like,
ok, so I can assume? Sounds good. lol. She didn't like that
too much. I'm hoping after Prom (considering then it'd be
one month and one week sience all this crap) she'll let us
hang out again. I am only human and I only make mistakes
and she says she punishes me cuz she loves me and if she
didn't love me she'd let up on me. I told her to stop
caring and let up on me. Then she went into this speal
about how I'm so beautiful...la la la la la. I have the
brains, the looks in the family and just on and on and on.
How I can have whoever I want and I told her I have the one
I want, but not the time I want with him. Was that suppose
to make me understand why she has a stick up her butt about
all this?
***
I'm just glad I can at least go to Prom and I at least have
my phone back. Prom will give me about 4-5 hours with
Terry, and I definitly wouldn't mind that. The whole reason
I go to school now is to see him for a few mintues before
school and a couple mintues between classes. My mom knows
that too...I told her.
***
I could probably go on and on and on. But the main idea is
that I AM sorry, and that I KNOW I messed up, and I
DEFINITLY learned a valuable lesson and I realize my
actions WEREN'T intellegent or well thought out. But I love
Terry, and I won't give up on him, ever. He means the world
to me and I just want to be with him. I understand that I
must be punished...but I do believe that once a month has
passed, I should be given chances to see him. Even if at
first just at the house with everyone around.
***
I am going to shut up and get off this site. I'll update
whenever I have more to say. Later. I love you, Terry.

~Ash


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