Visions Of Life
2003-04-01 18:13:46 (UTC)

George Carlin skit

Y'know, I've heard a lot of the possible U.S. motives for
this war. Libetating Iraq, stopping Saddam from obtaining
WMDs, a better grip on Iraqi oil; they're all possible
reasons for this war. I think I've got this one figured
out though. Think about it: War's all we're good at
anymore! We're only 200 years old, and already, we've had
little over 10 major wars! We average a major war every 20
years. Our economy's not doing very well right now because
nobody's buying American-made crap! Our cars break down,
our computers freeze up, we can't get health care to our
old people, can't get schools to our young people, and God
knows we can't build a TV, VCR, or cell phone worth a
fuck, but we can sure as hell bomb the shit outta your
country! And have you noticed that the only countries the
U.S. seems to bomb anymore are full of brown people?
Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, and now Iraq? That's weird
huh? Who were the last white people we bombed? Germany! In
WWII! And that's because they were cutting in on our
action. They wanted to rule the world. BULLSHIT! That's
our job! And it's been almost 2 years since that little
campaign in Afghanistan, so we needed to try out our
newest weapons on someone. But why Iraq? Why not the
French, or the English, y'know, people who really deserve
it? I'll tell ya why! G.W. Bush was made to feel insecure
about his manhood because his daddy couldn't get the job
done right back in '91! For 12 long years, little Bush
watched in horror as family gatherings and parties turned
ugly when aunts, uncles, and cousins reduced his dad to
tears by mentioning the Gulf War and how it was such a
flop. All that time, he's harbored a grudge towards
Hussein, and now's his chance to show the world what the
Bushes are really made of! So basically, this war is so
our military has a chance to play with their new toys in
the big giant sandbox, and so that Bush doesn't feel like
a "bush" anymore. There you have it. That was reason for
the first Gulf War, and that's the reason for this one.