Anrui Kurayami

Kurayami's Tears
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2003-04-01 16:52:10 (UTC)

Brave Eyes

Current mood: thinking, serious :|

Current Music: Goodluck and goodbye, by Toshikio Sekai [and
obviously, the rest of my GW Winamp playlist]

Fave phrases:

I. Every cloud has a silver lining.

II. I don't believe in destiny. Life is only what you make
it. ~Kris~

III. Anything at all for the one you love. ~Duo Maxwell, GW~

Fave words: lament, dust, rainbow


Suiren is still ill, I'm worried about her now. She has a
heart problem, something to do with the valves, and though
she claims she's perfectly okay in that respect, I do
worry... Always going on about the one I love, huh?

It's raining outside. I walked home in the rain today, with
the wind blasting my soaking hair across my face. I was
freezing, but inspired, with a pink nose, when I got home.

Life has been so confusing these past few days. My dad has
thrown a hissy fit, and we're not going home [to Wales]
except at Christmas and in the summer. I don't mind so
much, except I won't get to see my grandparents.

Mum says she hasn't been happy for a long time. Something
changed Dad, and he hasn't been the same fun guy since. She
says thats why she works so much, to get away from it. She
doesn't want it to affect anything for us, but it does. I
don't know the last time we had fun as a family. It was a
long time ago.

I want to go on the back of the motorbike with dad again.
It was fun before, with only my hands getting frozen by the
wind, and the roar of traffic and the feel of the bike
beneath me. It was like feeling truly alive, in a way I
rarely feel.

I am only alive when i'm hyper and running, breathless and
happy, for once.

My empathy is getting worse. I empathized with my dad - in
the past! Mum told me about an accident he once had, and I
could feel it happening to me. I nearly screamed! Mum
thinks I'm just squeamish, but I know thats not true. I'm
never squeamish when its my own blood, yet most people are!

I went shopping with her yesterday, and I got three new
tops, from Red Herring in Debenhams. I got a white t-shirt
with a "camo" cat on it, which is basically a cat coloured
in camoflague, a pale green camoflague vest top and a grey
top that says "League atheltics" on it. You know, one of
those fake logo's. They're all really nice. I also got a
book, written by Catherine Web, called "Mirror Dreams".
I've heard of her before, she's about 15 now, she was 14
when she wrote Mirror Dreams. The damn books impossible to
put down!!!!

I'm getting so many ideas for stories. They seem to be
flying through the air, its amazing.

Where my glasses rubbed my nose to bleeding, I now have a
clear dressing. You can't see its there, till you get right
close. Which the people I'm trying to hide it from [the
boys] dont do! Mission, sucess.

I've been rereading some Trowa/Heero fanfiction. It still
makes me god-dammed horny.

I admit, I mastubate. Wow. [Sarcasm?!?]

We had an 'interesting' visit from a woman from the local
GUM clinic is PSE yesterday. She showed us pictures of male
and female discharge [so basically, yeah, pussies and
cocks] and genital warts! She even showed us a pic of
someone who had it on their back passage. A boy? Mind you,
she did say that it could spread without actually fucking

Wow, i am so graphic in my discriptions.

I now have a 'guilt' folder. Basically, I keep in it all
the stories I know I should finish, but can't be bothered,
or WIP's [work in progress's] and make the folder guilt me
into writing. It actually worked!

I finished 'Book One' of my 'saga'. It's one I started
while I was still young and innocent. Okay, a year ago.
I've been getting reviews where people have been crying at
it. I didn't think that the main characters death would be
so sad for people!

No RAF today, it was field day for our instructors. Next
term, we can go on one, even though we are just recruits.

I had so much to tell you! I think that's about it now, but
if I remember something...

Much Love
~Anrui Kurayami~