EmptymeOut

bundles of inadequate thoughts.
2003-04-01 03:15:53 (UTC)

just how i felt.

so im writing this at my computer at 4:11 AM on a sunday
morning because i cant sleep. cant sleep because why? i
dont get enough sleep as it is so right now, especially
being pregnant, i should be exhausted. or cant sleep
because he's bland, limp, intoxicated, unaware of anything
but his dreamscape world right now most likely caused by
the sudden urge he might have had to PASS OUT as soon as he
crept in my door. if not sooner. i shouldn't think im
meaning my boyfriend. i mean him meanining something i get
to experience.

the choice i gave was pretty easy:
dont drive here if you have had anything to drink what so
ever.

only giving one other choice.
drink; do what you do; dont see sarah tonight.
so the other choice had to be.
dont drink; do what you do; see sarah.

one; because its dangerous. and two, because i didn't want
to see him drunk, or smell him drunk, let alone even know
about it. too many stupid memories triggored by that scent
now. too many scraped up bodies wraped in rags by that
scent now. too many no you may never be able to do it
again's now.

back to that body that lies within my sheets i dont even
think i know. i think it might just be a little
dissapointed.




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