zizzledpenguin

poor not very updated journal
2003-04-01 01:31:27 (UTC)

Dad notices I've continued cutting

--- “Ariel... So whats with your arms? The inner Tiger in
you or did Tiger [Tiger’s our cat] do that?” It was like he
was making a joke of it- -Pause with no awnser-
“Are all your friends doing that or something?”
He must have asked something else along those lines too,
but I wasn’t listening. I tried to look oblivious to what
he just asked, like he didn’t just joke about what’s made
my life crazily miserable these past 5 or so months. He
never asked again since that day in Septemeber when that
witchy bitch of a counselor called him in and told him. He
held the view of what seemed like most others thought: It
was stupid. But none of those people really knew any who
did it nor did it themselves, so how could they possibly
understand? -Another pause while I tried also once again to
return back to talking about what I was doing on the
computer- More of an insult than anything that my dad was
joking about something like that, no matter how it was
meant.

And then today in the cafeteria: “Staaacey,” I had whined
out. “It’s too warm in here.” “Well that’s because your
wearing a sweatshirt. Which is your own fault of course.
The reason you won’t take off your sweatshirt is because
you cut yourself and your trying to cover it up.”
“I.. wore sweatshirts a lot last year too.”
I could only protest back. True, but that didn’t really
matter. Something about the way she said that, the way my
best friend sounded so acusing-like, as if I had done
something wrong I should feel bad for even. Which bothered
me of course. It was almost too Tiffany like...




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