2003-03-31 20:53:36 (UTC)


Well...maybe, just maybe I just figured out one of my fears
of the "L" word. (love)

Here goes...

There is that fear that once its said it will go on to be
something that is said in obligation. (not that there is
anything really wrong with that) Its just that I don't
want to be told I'm loved because it seems an inevitable
sequence of events. I want it to be real. I want it to be
Jesus. I want it to be from the heart. Hearts
are curious organisms. Love is the most valuable thing in
existence. I don't want it belittled with feelings of anxiety or
dread. I don't want to be someone else's regret. I've lived with
someone for eight years hearing...I could have had this or that...but
I settled for YOU. :-(