Jack's Twisted Kingdom
Ad 2:
2003-03-31 03:48:48 (UTC)

us vs them

From a grrl who i was yakking with...


them: You evil little Vixen!

us: what?

them: Sorry but it had to be said...

us: why am i an evil little vixen?

them: You're a slug killer. It made sense in my mind....

us: oh

them: make sense?

us: sorta

them: Good...then im not completely insane! ....completely

us: you should get some lithium for that

them: hehe, that would be yummy!

us: i've never tasted lithium

them: me neither...just trying to be funny...or is it whitty, I always get them

us: don't try to be funny...trying to be funny never works

them: really? Damn. Though I had something here and all along it was a fraud!
yes indeed...girls find whutty funny men attractive. Dont they?

us: whitty, whutty men? are you a man?

them: Hrmm...matters what you consider a "man".

us: what do *you* think makes a man?

them: Hrmm....Tall...Dark...Handsome...Strong...Nice...Likes Darkness and stormy

us: and presumably you are these things?

them: yes...yes I am.

us: modest too, eh?

them: And of course my excellent taste in wardrobe. hehe, sorry...im usually not
like this. Im just so excited that I have a date tommorow!

them: ah so. are you a virgin?

us: yes...DAMN you got me there.

them: oh did i? so i guess men can be virgins then...

us: Well...I guess. Not technically though. But I have'nt ever had sex.

them: aw. too bad... maybe you'll get lucky tomorrow

us: What...because you know that im a virgin?

them: yes

us: hehe, that would be nice. I am talented though...(not to toot my own horn)

them: talented in what? being a virgin?

us: No, in getting girls off.

them: oh? online or otherwise?

us: No...Otherwise. In person, I am said to have magic hands.

them: then why haven't any of them ridden the bone roller coaster?

us: Because I didnt want to, havent found the right girl.

them: oh. you're one of *those* guys

us: *those*? Is that good or bad?

them: neither

us: hrmm...explain.

them: um, it's neither good nor bad, what's to explain?

us: I dunno...nevermind. I understand, I had a brain fart. hehe

them: out of what orifice does a brain fart escape?

us: Its a term for when you stop thinking for a second and kind of fuck up.

them: very well, but that doesn't answer my question

us: It doesnt... Why is it that most guys dont like eating women out? If you know
that is...

them: what i want to know is why do most women not like eating women out

us: hehe ;), I dunno...never asked a woman that.

them: anyway, why? do you like eating women out? it still surprises me you
haven't done the
horizontal mambo if you have

us: I love eating women out...I just love getting them off. The noises they make
and how their body tenses and you know they are in ecstacy...Mmmmm thats the
stuff! Well...mainly once they get off they aske me "What about you?" and I say
"No biggie, I liked getting you off. I will whank it later if I need to" But usually I am
satisfied by their
orgasm...is that abnormal?

them: yes. quite.

us: You propably dont believe me about that though...most dont because its so

them: you'll make a lovely sub to some lucky dom one day

us: Thank you! Thats very kind of you...

us: Wait a sec...you saying I would be somebody's bitch?

them: heh, not quite.

us: What did you mean...exactly. Excuse my ignorance of that term.

them: dominant and submissive - D/s - it can be fetishistic or a lifestyle depending
on who you
talk to...i don't know terribly much about it...i was just poking fun

us: hehe, cool. Thats basically what I thought, thanks for clearing that up.

them: anyway, you should go have some sex

us: definately..I'm horny like 24/7. It gets aggrivating.

them: if you're so good at pleasing women, surely one of them would let you
have a quick go

us: hehe, thats the thing. It wouldnt be quick....

them: how do you know if you've never fucked anyone?

us: And the thing is...im shy around women I dont know. Because it takes me over
a half hour just jacking off...

them: maybe you're masturbating too much

us: hehe....nah. I stopped for some time and it just got worse.

them: well, that doesn't mean you wouldn't come prematurely...you just never
know with those kinds of

us: true...that would suck. She should be able to get off too.

them: some women have a hard time achieving orgasm

us: True...thats why you need to get the G spot while french kissing or sucking on
one of their tits, also if your kissing them then you can rub one of them or finger
their clitty too.

them: what's the oldest girl you've gotten off?

us: She was about 19...why?

them: curiosity

them: gives me an idea of the aromatic variety you've experienced

us: Well if you want to know, I prefer older women because they tend to be more
mature and

them: and older women would be those of 19?

us: aha, makes sense. Or 2o ish, whatever. The point is I was 15 at the time so it
was a pretty big age gap.

them: is this fp in disguise?

us: Thats how I figures I liked older women, they are more open about talking
about anything and they are more mature, etc. no, FP is my best friend though.
He lives on the other side of town.

them: uh huh...but you still haven't fucked any of them...doesn't that kind of take
away from the

us: Why would you think I was FP?

them: ohhhhh...no reason

us: No, not at all. I get off orally too. SURE....thats what they all say.

them: they do?

us: Do what? Too many messages...sorry...

them: SURE....thats what they all say.

them: they do?

us: I dunno...who is they all after all? Propably the brits...

them: or the corsicans...smarmy bastards

us: hehe, what was the question you were asking? "They do?"

them: yes

us: Your confusing me! hehe, not that its hard to do...

them: who else are you talking to?

us: My cousin on ICQ...why?

them: ah...curiosity again

us: hehe, curious arent we?

us: So, what was the earlier question about? Or do you not remember? Or are
you simply toying with me?

them: toying? i'm just responding to what you say

us: hrmm....I have bad memory though.

them: indeed

us: hehe...

them: i suspect this conversation has died

us: no, not at all.

us: Whatcha' want to talk about? Or should I think of a subject?

them: you go right ahead and do what you think is best

us: Hrmm...more sex talk? or maby talk of darkness? or both?

them: whatever you feel like, big boy

us: hehe, now dont go turning me on...that could get dangerous and it would take
hours to go
away...not that I mind or anything.

us: No comment so my previous message?

them: sorry...was doing something

us: tis okay

them: anyway, do go on

us: Ummm....Why do most men know so little about getting women off?

them: i didn't know they didn't
and why do you think *i* know the answers to these questions?

us: I have heard many a female complain of it... Because you are knowledgable?
I have no IDEA...just trying to make conversation.

them: take a guess

us: FUCK....my cousin has been depressed for days because she moved and
has no boyfiend and now she said...good bye I cant stand it anymore, im killing
myself. And dis-connected! Sorry, forgot what you said last time in all the

them: Ummm....Why do most men know so little about getting women off?
i didn't know they didn't and why do you think *i* know the answers to these
I have heard many a female complain of it... Because you are knowledgable? I
have no IDEA...just trying to make conversation.

us: OH...um because all they care about is getting themselves off...

them: ah, that's right - you're different in that department
why do i think you're making this up to impress me?

us: I'm not making it up. hehe, you mean the knowledge area? Damnit...now im
depressed. After my cousin nearly killing herself and then talking about it and other

them: yah, i'm here

us: Sorry, wasnt sure. You havent said anything in a while...

them: miss cleo mesmerizes me

us: lol....lol, oh shit. Thats what I needed to hear. I feel a little better now.

them: ah, good

us: So, now that I cant even think about sex.... How have you been lately?

them: define*

us: Ummm...today and yesterday...I dunno

them: well, i'm a day older and a day wiser

us: hehe, true. BTW...How old are you?

them: tsk tsk, i hardly know you

us: What does that have to do with it...just wondering how old you are. Doesnt
have to do with me
wanting you ro anything...just a random question.

them: would you ask the age of a complete stranger on the street?

us: If they seemed interesting, probably.

them: are you implying that i'm interesting?

us: Yes, yes I am..

them: lucky me

us: hehe ;) So, willing to tell me how old you are? Or are you still shy?

them: shyness has nothing to do with it. only relevance.

us: oh... Well then...I guess I will just have to wonder about that for awhile. So,
how tall are you?

them: five nine and a half

us: Your pretty tall...or is that average height for women? I forget... You can ask
me any questions you like...im not shy. Or whatever...

them: i dunno, is it? oh that's okay, i'd rather just listen to you talk

us: Really? Why is that?

them: because i'm weary

us: Not sure...I like short girls. :) oh...well poo.. Sorry..cousin came back for a sec.

them: np

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