vici

lalalalala?
2003-03-30 18:38:23 (UTC)

Fenner

Last night Fenner told me "Someone told me this, and I'm
being honest here, that you think i'm hot and that you
wouldn't get with me because of what I think of you. But i
think your cool and I think if we went together it would be
keen." all i said was oh k... well how about you talk to me
when your sober? and he said he would. I'm pretty sure he ws to drunk
to remember and I'm pretty sure he was probably just horny, becasue
cool people don't like me, cool people think I'm stupid and annoying
and if they do fiegn intrest its because they want sex, or they want
something from me that I am not prepared to give... sex is so stupid
to... it just gives you this sence that maybe they will care adn not
leave you, but I already know, after sex there is only 1 or 1 1/2 of
a realtionship that lasts then they make some excuse up about how
they need to fins themselves, or they need space, or they feel tied
down, or they think your physco, or they don't want a serious
realtionship. Well I'm sorry but things get stupid after sex. anyways
back to Fenner, I think hes a totally sweetie and i've come to enjoy
the spar block we both have, I think hes really good looking to which
doesn't hurt, but the truth is I don't believe he likes me one bit. I
don't think anyone i like will ever like me again... its immposible
for me to be happy in a realtionship. and even if he dodes actually
like me, if we went out he'd get so bored ith me becuase to me in a
realtionship, I like cuddleing, romantic things, like silly things
picking flowers for me, but not bought flowers they aren't as
spontanious... I mean they are but tis just not as good as flowers
stolen from someones garden... and Dave doesn't really seem liek they
crazy adventourous type, that would fuck in wierd places, or pack up
one day and go camping, or just do something totally wild and crazy.
and i like being who I am I couldn't change... so I dunno if i'd be
the best thing for him... WoW! I'm reading into this way way way to
much, god it was probably another one of those stupid things guys to
do the ugly loser girls that aren't wanted. The classic case of "oh
will you go out with me" " yea sure' " hahahah I was just joking why
would i go out with you?"




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