Anrui Kurayami

Kurayami's Tears
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Ezoic
2003-03-30 14:56:18 (UTC)

Memories

Current Mood: hyper but fast mellowing out again

Current music: silence, the hum of the computer, the clack
of the keyboard

Current Fave Phrase:

I. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

II. Life is only what you make it ~ Kris, a very wise girl
for our age, said that to me. It left a mark, so i'm
quoting it.

Fave Words: nostalgic, melancholy
_____________________________________________________

Well, hi.

It's a warm, summery sunday round here. The sun's shining,
the skies blue and all that crap.

But I'm sad. I'm thinking about the war in Iraq, I'm
thinking about past summers when i had friends to muck
about with, i'm thinking about heartbreak. I'm imagining
what a summer with Tom would have been like. Beautiful, I
imagine.

This summer is going to be one of the final touches to my
adult psyche, I can tell. Maybe a year or two more, and
I'll be an adult in mind, though not in body.

I'm going to set myself goals, I'm going to try and be
happy. I've gotta make something of my life by the time
winter rolls round again.

Suiren has grown apart from me, I can feel it. Everytime
she talks about Callam, it hurts. I dont think she realizes
quite how much I truly love her.

Kris, my online friend, has an interesting view. Life is
only what you make it... perhaps she's right.

I think life sucks. So maybe I *make* it suck. I think
loves a bitch. so maybe I make it a bitch...

I'm going to write like never before, this summer. Life is
too short to waste, and I see that now. Who know's, maybe
I'll die tomorrow. Maybe I'll never leave my mark on this
world.

I don't want to let that happen.

I'm wasting my life this way. So, you know what I'm going
to do?

I'm going outside, with a notebook, a pen and my coat to
sit on, and I'm gonna jot down notes.

That's what my mind says. But then, I realize "Hey, I wanna
stay in", so i do. And never do anything.

Kris' philosophy is a good one...

Much love, and thank god for this diary! A place to jot
down my thoughts and feelings.

~Anrui Kurayami~

xoxox


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