Timothy

Jack's Twisted Kingdom
2003-03-30 08:35:41 (UTC)

fusion rites

give me the time

i shall relent

i look for her

i see her picture

and her brown eyes

glaring out towards me

yet, i feel nothing

but, a growing sense

of love, lust and desire


i can't think of a time except
when i was with Tara that this
made any real sense

perhaps with some effort
on my part i shall see why

not to say that it's necessarilly
wrong, or even right for that
matter

just that i am constantly looking
for that one person, that grrl
who i can adore

and i suppose that i will have
a long time to wait

it's so hard, and yet, so easy
so simply and excrutiating

i find myself wondering how
it is that i stand alone watching
the clouds and the rain fall
without someone to hold

someone to touch, laugh
cry, vent, smile, kiss,

or even love

where, when perhaps

do i draw the line in the sand
and decide, i have to cross it

and make a decision

honesty is the death of my soul

lies are the meat of my being

the grey lines between, reality


i am but dust, space dust, swirling
in the void of consciencness

fuck, i can't spell, one day i'll use a
spell checker on my diary entries

perhaps i will leave them as they are

and why not, if i changed them, would
it not then change the temper, the
tempo of it?

or would it relegate it to something

more.... ephemeral? wrong word

perhaps, something less...

i don't know...

real...

am i real? am i alive?

or am i seeking a reason to justify

my paltry existence?

am i simply leeching the life away
from the rest of the world?

for now, i let the lights dim

the voices subside

the new day comes hither

and i, awake, dream of nightmares