EmptymeOut

bundles of inadequate thoughts.
2003-03-28 04:51:05 (UTC)

SSDD.

my phone rings. i pick up phone. oh its kristin. oh you
arent doing anything for once. oh you want me to come over.
okay. i have to go home and shower after work. dont go
anywhere. wait an hour.

so i come home.. make myself some food.. take a shower..

my phone rings. i pick up phone. oh its kristin. oh you
just want to warn me there's a bunch of people at your
house doing drugs. oh you aren't doing them? what? you
might? if i dont what..... hurry? ummm..
ME: kristin. dont do drugs. dont do them. KRISTIN DONT DO
THEM. be strong kristin DONT.
KRISTIN: okay, ill be good. just hurry the fuck up.

i eat my food.. finish getting dressed.. call kristin back..

well howd you do. oh you slipped. oh drugs you did. oh
suprise suprise. just two hits. yeah bitch, two hits and
the rest of your life.

so i go.. to her house. to do what? spend time with her..
or, watch these duplicates of carmello, raul, and pablo do
drugs right in front of me. nope.. i got there and they all
had left. but what's left is three remains of friends i
thought i used to have and their drug inflicted minds. this
is where i was at. this is where i would be at if i werent
pregnant. if i didnt know what it felt like to be clean for
over 4 months. if i didn't have the support of my loving
family.. boyfriend..

kristin told her mother to make her an appointment to see a
chemical dependancy therapist so she would stop doing meth.
good choice. good choice indeed. though... it wont work. i
know for a fact she wont stop doing it. she dosn't have the
kind of knowlege or strength to do what she wants to do.
ever. and i understand that. i understand that because
that's how i was for 2 years. i understand that, but it
dosnt mean i can feel ok about it. its sad. the world is
cruel. and theres really nothing anyone can do about it. at
all. forever.




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