neverthesame

forever changing
2003-03-28 02:40:41 (UTC)

a talk with my bro

i just talked to my oldest brother i had to call to tell
him mom was ok well when i called him we talked for a lil
bit and while we were talking he told me about how he knows
a lot of the things i am goin through with my friends and
he remembers being my age and all this stuff and he told me
that if i ever needed someone to talk to i could call him
and i am glad to know he is there for me but also at the
same time i know that i probably will never let myself
thourouly open up to him just because we have never had
that open of a relationship. he is 4 and a half years older
than i am and his friends always came first to me and now
that i am used to it i go to my friends first becausee they
have been there for me as long as i have needed them and
they help me, they don't judge me but they lend advice
(some which should not be taken for fear of jail time) but
they are always there for me. yea i know if i needed walter
to be there he would and he has changed since he was my age
but still i don't know i think he knows a lot of what i go
through but not all and i think he thinks he knows more
than he really understands but none the less i love him and
it did mean a lot to me hearing him tell me that if i
needed to talk he would be there for me. he had never told
me that before and i dunno it made me happy to hear him say
it. wow i am such a dork but oh well i can live with that.
i actually feel bad for anyone who might happen to stumble
upon my writing because they are in for a glimps into the
head of one weird individual.