Visions Of Life
2003-03-27 00:11:53 (UTC)

Faith and Misery

Is it wrong to pray for guidance when in trouble if you
dont pray in general? I find it selfish but an lured to it.

I am no longer a religious person. I do many things that
are considered sins by the bible and refuse to stop them.
But I am having such a tough time and nothing else seems
to be working. I turned on a worship cd and for the first
time in over a year I felt something. I never thought Id
feel even a tingle. I decided that god fucked me over way
too many times and that I would never come back. Something
has changed and I am not sure what. Maybe just false hope
that somehow things will be better...

I feel like no matter how hard I try, I cant get a break.
I finally am close to getting a job and my car battery
dies so I most likely cant make it to the place to take a
reading assessment test. At least I am getting my car
fixed but Im fucked. I also have an interview friday I
might miss if I cant take a bus there.

So I am pretty depressed but at least Im not hurting
myself. My migraine is huting me tho.. =(