Nick's Journal
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2003-03-25 17:33:09 (UTC)

Social Lament

i'm very tired right now, apparently diphenhydramine
hydrochloride is something that messes with ya. the
combination of drugs and alcohol and excercise makes my
body an interesting amusement ride. i don't drift to
sleep. sleep is the nail that doesn't fit in my life. i
constantly hammer it into submission with various methods
but in the end it just fits in crookedly. i've never
quite realized how addicted you become to the feeling of
someone lying next to you. oh well, jsut a few months
anyhow, today just isn't the day for optimism. it's a
beautiful 71 degrees out and i'm dying in my classes.
stuck in the smelly class room next to the smelly hippie
girl, doesn't sit well on a brain that is having trouble
just keeping itself from shutting down. i had a surprise
quiz in business technologies today which was ridiculous.
i hate the quizes, all i do is memorize the shit and this
time i just didn't and i fucked it up. it makes me so
mad, nott hat i fucked it up, but that these quizes
count. i'm getting sick of being graded. i mean take
marketing, i htae it, so i fuck up in it, because i just
don't care.
that is me trying to hold on to my post-adolescent
idealistic notion. life is going to suck a lot more if
you dont' do well in school, or you're lucky. if you're
stuck in a job you hate that's just the end. you'll do
shittily, you'll hate the people, and you'll probably end
up buying a AK. you're trying to push the triangle block
into the round orifice.......pretty soon you're just gonna
be like a baby and hurl it all over the place.

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