nin137

Nick's Journal
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2003-03-25 05:04:30 (UTC)

All I need to know about a healthy relationship I learned from Porn

seriously. all i ever really needed to know about
relationships and their web intricacies are pretty much
laid out in your average porno. first of all you have to
know how to treat your slut (dont' call her anything else
or she'll think she's better than you). so when your slut
walks in the door make sure to pounce on her vagina like a
face-hugger would a face. don't worry about all
the "talking", just explain to her that you're there to
fix the cable t.v. (even if you may live there and are her
husband), and then fucking will commence within about 5
seconds.
ah fucking. who doesn't love it? while you're fucking
make sure you let your slut know how much you love it all
and smack her on the ass while pulling her head back. of
course we all know that girls want nothing more than to
have their face shoved into a pillow while you pound away
at her asshole as if it were a jammed key on your
keyboard. if you're tired of all of this tiresome
movement, just gently make your girl aware of the fact
that you would rather have a blowjob, by simply thrusting
it in her face and saying, "suck on this baby".
while women give head they love nothing more than you
trying to force that thing out of the back of their
heads. so make sure you grab their hair and push them so
far down on it that it looks like she is attached to you
at the mouth.
now when you're done make sure you treat your penis like a
shaken can of soda, and let that semen fly around as you
please. women really love it if you take out one of their
eyes with that shit.
now you may say, hey, this just really touches upon the
sex part of a relatoinship......what about the rest of
it? well, all i have to say is.....how many porns involve
long walks down the
beach?...........................that't don't end up in a
3 person orgy including a sperm whale?
that's right. hit it brother. she'll love ya for it.


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