neverthesame

forever changing
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Ezoic
2003-03-25 04:51:51 (UTC)

confusion

these last few days have been really akward. i think matt
is avioding me and i finally got the apc cd last weekend
(matt said he was goin to get it for me for a late v-day
gift but never did) and when i was listening to it all i
could think of was him and 3 libras completely explains how
i feel about him especially this one line that say "and
here i am expecting just a little too much from the
wounded" he truely is the wounded emotionally but his
wounds are what made him such a great poet and that might
have seemed so sincer and i still beleive what he said was
true but im not sure how long it was true for or if it
really wasn't something i did and he jus tgot bored of me
ofr something. and since last thursday i have dreamt of him
every night and whenever i close my eyes i remembver the
night he stayed at my house and i remember all the things
we did and it drives me crazy!

also i have discovered that i really truely do have
feelings for david flat out and well he has a weird way of
getting me to tell him things and so i told him a story of
two girls that like a boy and after a long weird story it
ends up that the first girl (me) likes the boy (david) but
so does the other girl (zoe) and the first girl can not
tell the second one because she has sworn not to persue a
guy that her friend likes especially not this friend and so
the story ends with the second girl not knowing how the
first girl feels because the first girl wants it like that
and cannot bring herself to tell the second girl how she
feels and she is stuck with no david and her friend not
knowing the truth.
the only thing is that at this point even if zoe did not
like david i would not want to persue anything for a while
anyways just due to the fact that i don't want to go out
with him when i am still dreaming of matt.
wow there is so many emotions all rolled into one i don't
even know what i feel anymore about most things everything
just rolls into one thing
confusion


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