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and yet another broken promise
today was the most bizarre day, for a long time, ever.
on the way home from the doctor, i was walking through the
park, and i saw this guy who - from a distance - looked
like billy. then i began to think well maybe it only looks
like him cause i've been thinking about him, as it goes.
so i'm walking past the guy, head down, when he reaches
and grabs my arm. and it's him. what can i say? he looked
beautiful. he is beautiful. he embodies all the things i
want and dream of and can't have. and probably will never
i feel like i'm imposing on my best friend.
and i heard all about the people at school who are
behind my back and talking complete shit because it's very
easy to hunt someone out when everyone else is doing it.
the thing is i don't need them, and i can't really be
bothered with them.
i havent been to school for a while. i'm not going on
wednesday. i have to go tomorrow to discuss my cambodia
project with ms speight. but if i didnt i think id skip.
i am scared about next year. i dont get to go home for
christmas. that in itself is fine. but what am i gonna do
CRY FOR YOU. SHED TEARS. MOURN. WISH THE END.
(did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it
hurts so much?)
_i am lost_
wanna hear something beautiful?
-those starry eyes dream of sundays in october.