Mr. Nice Guy83

The never-ending chaos
2003-03-24 19:43:49 (UTC)

The end..... of the Sarah saga (maybe)

Well last night as I said she (Sarah) came back over and
well everything was cool and we stayed off each other for
the longest time ever I think! She sat in my lap and we
went into chat's and BS'ed online for I am going to say a
good hour to and hour and a 1/2 I mean we would make out
for like 5min. then go back to BSn' on the net but it
couldn't be helped she was in my lap lol. Well after that I
got up cause my rear was numb from sitting with someone on
me for so long (but I enjoyed it) any whooo lol any how so
I go lay on the bed and about 2 min. later she joins me
(bet y'all didn't see that comming did ya) and we are just
kinda stairing into each others eyes and holding each other
then OF COURSE we start making out... see a patteren yet?
and we get going and going and she tells me she is off her
period... Now what in the heck and I supposed to draw from
that comment?? The only few reasons I can think of are in
the sexual catagory and well one thing lead to another and
bam! I am not complaing about it but it really isn't worth
it! We go through the same darn crap over and over. I told
her last night though that I don't think we should see each
other for a little while and she agreed that would prob. be
for the best but knowing us we I see her tomorrow. You know
when sex is in the picture it is a lot harder to determine
your feelings for someone cause it is such a big deal and
can make you attached to a person more. I think that is
more my problem than me being so in love with her (who
knows maybe it is just wishful thinking) it is I miss the
physical aspect of our realtionship. I know I love her but
am I IN LOVE with her? Is it all just sexual feelings
confused for being in love with her? I don't know but I do
know I want to move on... badly! I talked with a friend
online today and she made me feel so much better!! She is
in the same exact situation with her b/f.. or I guess now
ex too. It was almost scary I mean the only thing different
is the length of time we had been together for me it was
around a year and for her it was more like 2 years. I mean
it was really really scary everything down to the same
questions I ask myself she was asking AND get this "it was
nice just watching a movie and hanging out with him..but it
always lead to sex..." that sound fimilar? She seems really
really cool. She is about the only person I think I would
actually meet from online. I doubt we ever will but I would
if the chance ever arose. I want to move on so freaking bad
and not have any feelings for her sexual or any other! I
know I always will though. Esp. the sexual cause damn was
it good! I know a lot of guys brag and say they are good
but me and her would just go at it and at it and at it like
4 times at LEAST a day. and I am talking about hours each
time. She knew how to push all my buttons and I hers. Man
and we would go at it all over of the freaking place. My
room, laundry room (long story), her room, bath room floor,
living room, took showers together but never actually had
sex in one (though I would of loved to), in the back seat
of the car, I think we had sex on her parents couch but we
might not have gone all the way (it was a while ago)... to be
continued




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