Jake
Welcome to my mind.
March 21, 2003 (Pain and hope)
My whole body aches. My legs are stiff, my chest muscles,
shoulders, back, legs, knees, neck, everything wails our in
pain. What a glorious pain it is thought, achieved only in a
half an hour but still being awarded a day and a half later.
If I were sure of anything anymore I would be lucky. I did
rather well in band today. Which confuses me. I am actually
starting to really enjoy Biology. Mostly because I get to
play with the millipede if Mr. DeMarco lets me. I also
talked to Steve during lunch today and found out that te
yearbook staff needs a photographer. I enjoy it and can
maybe score a few extra points as well.
I am starting to try to understand what drives me to be the
way I am. I want to be a more benevolent person to others,
but it is difficult. When handed controversy and oposition
you give it back, I wish to not do so. However it becomes
almost shocking to people in my class when I do not strike
out at others who insult me greatly publicly in class. I do
not wish to hurt. I have also seen the folly of cursing. It
is stupid and enhances speach to no great extent.
I suddenly have the urge to begin writing a story of some
sort. I have one going with Chris which is going rather
well, but I have the urge to begin my own. I hope I do not
have one which I put as much hope into as "The Last
Casualty" and it is torn to pieces. I wish only to write or
create something to benefit and entertain others and myself.
I have been talking to my friend for a good amount of time
tonight. She seems like one of the smartest and most
charasmatic people I know. I wish there were more like that.
Unfortunately rare people are not considered a comodity and
as such are sometimes discarded like refuse. She however
will make something of herself, I garrauntee it.
Thoughts to inter here have begun to flee my mind, so I will
retire this entry with the others.
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