psychomagnet

sleeptodreamher
2003-03-21 09:06:08 (UTC)

what the fuck

what in the fucking world is wrong with me.

HOW THE FUCK am i STILL IN THE SAME FUCKING PLACE I HAVE
BEEN FOR FOUR YEARS

and im not even fucking strong enough to get away from it.

he couldnt make it any clearer if he fucking spelled it out
for me I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE. if he fucking screamed it
at the top of his lungs for everyone in the world to hear,
it couldnt be any clearer.

so WHAT THE FUCK

i dont understand. i dont understand a world where some
people can be so much fucking more in love with other
people and not have any fucking reciprocation. i dont
understand a world where we have to send 300000 people to
some fucking shit hole country to die to avoid the
possibility that 400000 might die if they dont. I DONT
FUCKING UNDERSTAND IT.

and i cant think of a single moment in the past where i
have felt this fucking hopeless.

how do i deal with knowing that the only fucking thing i
have wanted for four fucking years is not ever going to be
real. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THAT

can someone please fucking tell me what the fuck im
supposed to do with that

because i cant fucking move here. i cant do it i know i am
not nearly strong enough.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT TAKE to get it through my fucking
head that that fucking heartless selfinvolved piece of shit
WILL NEVER FUCKING LOVE ME THE WAY I LOVE HIM HE WILL NEVER
GIVE ME WHAT I NEED i KNOW that why cant i KNOW IT

what does it take please god cant someone fucking get this
over with for me because for some ungodly fucking reason i
cant.