hopes&dreams

hopes,dreams,&fears
2003-03-21 04:19:16 (UTC)

swiming

So the other day, I received a reply to my madness of
entries, and I really felt good about what the person
wrote me. So, if you do read this...thank you. It feels
good to know that my thoughts aren’t wild or nonsense! Or
that I am not alone....

Well, my roommate Lynn has a broken heart. She and Angela
(the married/separated woman) called it quits. I am
saddened by this conclusion. I know I was saddened when
her and Kelly broke it off a few months ago, but for some
reason, this one is a bit more upsetting than normal. I
don’t know if it is because Lynn seems to continue to talk
about it and wants hope that it will work out (and I don’t
know what to say to her), or if it hurts me to know that
Angela (who is only 24) is going back to a woman who she
does not love, but feels she needs to stay with her.

If it were me, and I didn’t love Tray, I wouldn’t want to
touch him, I wouldn’t want him touching me. I would
eventually come to hate him, not love him. And if it were
reversed and I KNEW that he didn’t love me, I wouldn’t
want him to touch me, and I wouldn’t want to touch him.
Mentally and physically.

I understand that people who are married fall in and out
of love, but does it happen within the first six months?
Is the relationship worth saving?

I don’t think I have ever mentioned this, but I don’t
believe in marriage. I have a hard time with the idea for
many reasons. But one, I know deep down comes to just
being very afraid...afraid of what...love, hate, passion,
commitments, resentments, obligation, lacking ......

There is no excellent beauty that hath not some
strangeness in the proportion.
--Francis Bacon




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