squrlgyrl

change machines and apple trees
2003-03-20 18:01:04 (UTC)

---morning after---

i feel tired. and kinda....empty. i was going to go get my
hair cut today, but whats the use? im still fat. a hair
cut isn't going to change that....i was also going to go
shopping today, but thats the last thing i need right now:
more food. i guess im just going to stay in today and work
on my research paper. maybe try out my new Rx. *sigh* i
don't want to be here. im so discontent right noiw, but i
don't know how i can change that. i know this isn't all
just because jeff pointed out the fact that i am
FAT....its that i know now that i'll always just be lying
to myself if i tell myself i am pretty, and it doesn't
matter that i don't weigh 130 pounds. whenever i look in a
mirror i chringe....and i have to stop lying to myslef and
face the truth: no matter how you feel about yourself,
other people only know what they see.....a bitter fat girl
trying to pass herself off as not-fat.....guess i struck
out again.




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