kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
2003-03-20 10:38:14 (UTC)

Life is wacky

Ok. If you are regular reader of my diary then you probably
guessed that the sonnet I posted is about Dave. It was
running through my head on my car ride home from John's house.

Anyway a few things happened today. I got a lovely call
from S. She is amazing and I am very happy that her life is
going well.

I went through a whole range of emotions today. Started off
on a good note. I decided to e-mail Dave. We had talked
about getting together next week and neither of us cared
when. So, I decided to shoot for Monday or Tuesday. I sent
him an e-mail about it because I didn't know if I would
still be at school when he was online or if I would be on
the road.

Well, he got online and we chatted for a sec. I asked him
if he got my e-mail. He did and said he wasn't sure if that
would work. I went crazy like I so often do about things
dealing with him and took his comment as a sort of nice way
of brushing me off. Kinda saying he didn't actually plan to
get together. So naturally I got mad. I was very
frustrated about it. Cal asked me something and I went off
and said "I don't know why I even fucking try." Nearly
broke down in tears when saying it too.

I went out and got my car and fumed a bit. Brought my car
around back of my residence hall and tried to calm down
before talking to him again. I wanted to make a comment
about NEVER possibly being the best time for us to get
together. Deciding to give him one more chance I simply
asked what day would work better for him next week. He said
any day would work. Totally backwards from what he said
minutes earlier. He then explained he was a bit out of it.

I calmed down after having been wrong. It was good to know
he did want to get together after all. We continued
chatting for a bit. He said his last 24 hours had been bad
so I asked if he wanted to talk about it. Guess his girl
decided to go ahead and tell her parents she is leaving the
Mormon church. And she told them that he and her want
alcohol at their wedding. Her parents flipped out more
about the booze than her leaving the church. That sounds
whacked up to me!

I nearly fell out of my chair at that comment. I knew he
was talking about marrying her, but I had no clue he had
proposed to her. I nearly burst into tears on the spot.
I'm still trying to figure out why I wanted to cry so badly.
It confused me a lot! But then again most things I think
about him confuse me.

I had to leave to go home so I told him to call me if he
wanted to keep talking. Guess he didn't want to since he
never called me.

John talked with him today. They discussed camera lenses I
guess. I was having trouble getting my Mother to understand
that they are not ignoring eachother, just not talking much
at all. She was worried about them putting me in the middle
and talking smack about eachother to me. I tried to tell
her they do not talk about eachother, they just simply don't
talk. Dave decided that the friendship was not worth the
effort he was putting into it since John never wanted to do
what Dave suggested. So their friendship has simply drifted
away. They call eachother when they have something to talk
about and that is it.

Another bomb got dropped on me. Not a major one I guess.
Dave told John that in either January or February of next
year is when he and his girl are getting married. I had no
idea they had set a date since I didn't even know it was
offical. I hate to say it, but It gives him a year to
figure out if he's making the right decision.

I think that's all the exciting news. Went to Krispy Kremes
with John and Thomas tonight. Had a lot of fun. Saw Jay
for a short bit at John's house. They are all doing quite
well. Except Jay having this slight fear of his girlfriend.
He found an amazing one for once and is unsure what to do.
He'll figure it out one of these days...hopefully soon for
her sake. Even Dave figured out the fear thing and
mentioned it to John. I'm guessing Jay and Dave have talked
some recently because I only mentioned Jay's current
situation to Dave once that I recall.

Sorry for another novel. Sorry for any and all spelling
mistakes. It is after 2:30 am.