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dbnsfg
2003-03-19 10:42:47 (UTC)

Yes, The Diary Bandit Has Struck Again

*gasp*

erm, i found something in a diary i regularly read, but im
unsure as to whether the author is aware.. either way, what
im about to paste, i think, pretty much sums stuff up on
the hurting.. she calls it therapy.. you call it self-
mutilation.. enjoy

"It was not something I just woke up and thought “Hey, I
know – I’m sad, I think I will cut my arms!”
No, I’ve been doing it since I was about thirteen and it’s
continued off and on since then but it became more regular
from about seventeen onwards I think…maybe sixteen…

This is going to sound weird to anyone that doesn’t have
friends with “mental” problems but it’s not glamourous. I
don’t do it for attention. I just hate myself and the
situations I am in so much that the only way to rid
tension and still know I am alive is to do this. I don’t
like to all that much but sometimes I HAVE To otherwise I
will kill myself. It is not a GREAT thing. It’s not a
great feeling not to be able to wear a short sleeved top
without a glove or lots of bracelets and bangles or even a
ripped up stocking on one arm.

I’m “Gothicly inclined” so it gets taken as “Oh, she’s
trying out a new style” I can get away with a stocking on
one arm! Lol but its not fun going to a job interview and
being worried about shaking some guys hand and having him
see your arm…having to reach something that’s up high and
grit your teeth as your sleeve falls down to your elbow,
revealing yours scars and or cuts.

Its not fun having your boyfriend cover your arm up with
your loose sleeve because he doesn’t want to see your ugly
cuts and scars…so if you’re trying to MAKE a problem
that’s not really there then you are the ones truly in
need of help. Not the people doing it, at least we have
valid and TRUE reasons for the pain we have."




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