caulfield

Exit from Reality
2003-03-19 05:49:34 (UTC)

ok ill do one

loch and i decided to hit up old school, since we were like
the only people in this damn nation that hadn't seen it. o
geeze, it was hilarious. i love will ferral so much, why
did he have to leave SNL? and im still anxiously awaiting a
best of will ferral on SNL, cuz that would be second best
to my main man chris. thank u OC for letting lindsay and i
in for free...much appreciated. i may be wrong, but you
seemed the exact same way as when i saw you in the gas
station, that kind of weird/whoa look. so let me know if
im on your bad side chris, or something? so im like a
completely energized happy person around my lil lindsay
elizabth loch. shes the only person who can give me that
great feeling, so mad props. good night for us two.

i think my highlight of the day was when jesse becker
answered my question of, "do you hang out with alexa?"
with, "at osseo we all hang out together." my calender isnt
in front of me, but its been what, like one week since
alexa has been at osseo, haha, real true osseo student. god
that was a joke. and im also completely disgusted that she
drank piss thinking it was beer. dear god alexa, its
obvious you do not have the mind to be in hp english, if
you cant even tell the difference between beer and piss.
god those people piss me off, the ones who act like they
have some sort of amazing inteligence, but really they're
the hugest dits ever. and alexa also fits into my lil hate
catagory of doing absolutely nothing at the health club.
god dont get me going. i honestly cant stand most people,
its horrible i know. but theyre so fake, and piss me off
so easily, so ill save myself going off on them, by just
acting like they arent apart of my generation, city, or
life.

at the health club, luke greder saw me hugging josh. i just
knew he was going to tell ryan and make it into this huge
deal. and of course i called that one, ryan called me like
right after and was like, "i heard you were all up on
hutton?!?" dear god, ive known josh since like my first day
of 7th grade, and we've been friends, and even more, so i
can give an old friend a hug, who cares? its not like im
ryans thing, i hate it when guys act like their yours-its
frusterating. i mean, i think its cute that hes like
protective, but ryan and i arent going out, so thats not
fair.

im picking out my college classes for next year, and im
trippin. im basically deciding what i want to do for the
rest of my entire life. what i think i want to be is an RN
in obstetrics, but it's going to be a lot of work. and if i
cant even spend a weekend in the boho house cuz of all
those damn screaming kids, how am i going to spend my
lifetime with crying newborns, i dont know? but if i look
at the bigger picture, theres just something about bringing
a person into the world. now granted, im not going to be an
obstetrician, but i heard RNs do most of the work, and i
would be contributing to the actual delivery. that may
gross some people out, especially guys, but i think its
amazing. i love babies, not saying im gonna have any of my
own anytime in the next 10 years, but i wont hesitate to be
around them. ok, i know this is what i want to be, it will
be ok. god im totally one of those people who needs self
reassurance, and actually reassurance from other people
too, sadly. so junior year i think ill just be at the
community college, and possibly senior year at the U, but
it's kind of an inconvenience driving downtown compared to
brooklyn park. wish me luck in college!

NOTE: linds, i love your hand painting, its really tight.
and as long as we're on the topic of art, id do anything to
have like my own copy of the "that there, thats not me"
painting, number one in my book, probably just cuz we can
relate.

"i could use a fresh begining too, none of my regrets are
nothing new."

so on that quote, i wonder do people even realize their
mistakes. it seems like no one does, that using people, and
hurting themselves and their family just passes them by,
like a gust of wind, touching them for a moment, and
leaving them directly after. or maybe people just hide
their conscience. i cant hide mine, it reminds me every
second of my fuck ups. but i dont mind, cuz it makes me who
i am, and that in itself isnt shameful.

so i love the people that are artsy, but as loch and i were
discussing, doesnt it kind of seem like they need that to
be known, that they are different, that they know cool
music, that they express themselves through writing or
music or what not. cant they just be them, and not need to
show the world what theyre about. now im not talking
everyone, this is actually more a couple girls that come to
mind. but its like, if you act like you dont care about
image or anything then why do you rip on the people that
arent like you? youre just doing the same thing the popular
kids did to you back when you hadnt gone through your some
what transformation. me being a part of both worlds, i
understand what im trying to say more, so im sorry if this
is incomprehendable. but you can be who you are without
having to shout it out, and explain yourself every day.
ok, so thats enough, im sure y'all think im fucked up by
now. so im dippen.

song of day: ghost man on thrid by taking back sunday

"its times like these where silence means everything, and
no one is to know about this...it's a shame i dont think
they'll notice, its a shame i doubt they even care, this is
why we're taught so much better than this, this is what
living like this does"

hotties
-chris (damn)
-bryan beam (just cuz i like his smile)
-greder
-josh hutton




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