Watch me lose it...
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2003-03-18 18:20:09 (UTC)

Emails, Lies, Sticks and stones

Listening to : Ash - Sometimes

So here is what he sent me last tuesday along with a few
notes about exactly what he writes.

(rob will do thankyou Farouk)

Just a quick message about the antics of today.
(Interesting you use the word "antics" there)

I get the impression that for some obscure reason you
believe that I have it in for you?

What ever lead you to come to such a conclusion?

(Hows about last weeks "Mr Teflon, shit doesnt stick to
you." Or whatever it was he said? How about the week before?
"Do you love fucking gay boy" Or how about the
endless number of "no wonder you cant add up you fucking
council boy.." etc add other council jokes. Or how about
kicking me out of the way on the way out of class and "get
out of my fucking way"..thats just a few examples)

I have been nothing but friendly towards everybody in the group.
(See above)

(In fact as I quoted I gave you goods worth a penny or two
only the other week)

( This clearly indicates Farouk seems to believe that
because he doesn't treat me like shit when I'm on my
own..and because he gave me a couple of CDs he didnt want
anymore, which I offered to pay for, hes ok to treat me like
shit whenever he wants)

Logic dictates that would not be the case if I disliked you.

You have never heard me say a bad word about anybody until
(I've not heard what you say about me behind my back. But I
guess thats not for me to know)

(And that was only the result of been told I would be put on
my arse)
(I regret saying "I feel like I want to put you on your arse
today" But at the time I felt very angry. If I hadn't had
said this he would have looked even more of an idiot)

Yet you felt the need to approach me with the belief that I
was belittling you?

Now look back and see how you approached me.

You came in all guns blazing.

(Not true at all. I was leaving the room and he had waited
until everyone else had gone before calling me back by
saying "oi you fucking long haired lout, your a fucking
wanker you are..." And then moaning about something stupid
that happened earlier when I had asked him who Rosie Gains
or something was. Which he told me "your thick as pig shit
you are. you just dig yourself in further and further dont
you?" At this point, to be honest I felt I'd had enough)

To be honest I didnt know what you were on about.
(That shows)

All I perceived was an attack.

Shields on full.
(Rather, a 10 year old having a tantrum)

All you had to do was say.

Farouk, I dont like how you say this.
( First off. Spell correctly. Secondly,I did. I was very
calm at the time even though i felt like I was very angry, I
didnt raise my voice or wave my arms. I said "Whats the
issue? Whats your problem? Why are you treating me like
this. Others have had problems with you. Whats up? Why are
you acting like this? etc etc. I dont know what else I could do)

I would have understood something was bothering you and
amended my interaction skills.
(Put the dictionary away Farouk and write properly)

But you didnt come up for air in your verbal assault.
(Thats not true. I gave him alot of time to speak. Firstly
he just turned his head to one side and looked away. Which
is when i asked why he was picking on me. When he asked for
an example, I pointed out earlier on. He said he was upset
because "Alison was sitting right there." I asked him,Whats
that gotta do with anything? At which point he just said
"get out of my way in 5 seconds or I'll punch you" Outside
later on I didnt speak while he had a little tantrum. I gave
him more than enough to speak.)

Put yourself in my position, how would you have reacted?

(Now before you go off on a tangent. remember this is my

Just as your preception indicated that I was attacking you)

(What? Off on a tangent? He was writing this..not saying it
to me)

Im sorry that you felt that way and if you could
substantiate your claims I will publicly apologise.
(I know Farouk wouldnt apologise for anything.)

You also attacked me with the view point that I had upset
the girls.

(Strange that, because I didnt converse with them at all
that day on any subject other than hello.)

(I meant previously, but that day also both Claire and Emma
had said
"Why do you let him treat you like that." They were sick of
him having a go at me)

As I stated my reasons for not communicating with the girls
is for a slanderous statement

(This has been reported to the college, Police and a lawyer)

(Emma, during a joke, called Farouk a Paedophile. In
response to me telling him when he had
treated me like shit Farouk also said I was "too sensitive."
I think what he writes here shows he may be a little bit
more sensitive than I am.
To waste police time on something so trivial. I wonder why
Farouk didnt just tell Emma he was going
to punch her in the face. Perhaps I should lodge about 100
official complaints about the way he treats me
and slanders the council.)

Now I find it inappropriate to be overtly friendly to people
who can act as such.
(I agree, so I'm not friendly with him)

(In otherwords I'm not two faced)

But for someone to attack me with that when it is certainly
none of their business.
(My point was really, he had fallen out with other members
of the group. Whats his problem)

(A business which until today I have kept quiet about.

A business which because I have kept quiet about allows
others to backstab me.

Can only lead to a disruptive argument.

(I dont understand what he means here really)

I should know better than to lose my temper.

And for that I apologise.

But I apologise for only raising my voice and nothing else.

I will allow no one to physically threaten me and get away
with it.
(Neither will I allow someone to pick on me every week, kick
me and just generally treat me like
shit. Oh sorry. Your 45, I forgot your allowed to do that.)

(Saying it was a joke later is too late)

(Perhaps you will take this to heart when looking back at
all the things you've said to me)

But please dont attack me on a subject in which you only
have one side of the story.

A story in which I felt I had to report to the authorities.

Now as an adult I believe this subject is over.

I will also continue to treat you as a friend.
(I thought it was over too. But obviously my absence today
prompted Farouk to go blow up a storm with
Alison. Farouk is single, 45 and has no job. He has nothing
to do other than to worry and write letters
about minor fallings out like this. I have bigger and better
things to be doing than to deal with
and I'm sure Alison has too.)

It is up to you if you wish to continue to accept me as a


(I thought that we had agreed we keep misunderstanding each
other so you'll stay away from me and
I'll stay away from you sort of thing. Obviously Farouk
feels that this issue needs pushing on. Sad)