moshingkow

the expunged refuse of my evil mind
2003-03-18 03:09:38 (UTC)

fuckin volleyball

Im so fuckinpissed. nothings working for me. I feel liek shit. me and matt and dmirty and george diddnt get into the band showcase, i tryout for the vball team, get cut, get on, then dont get to play when everyone else does, and morgan tells me shes going to drexel. i cant fucking take this shit. im gonna be miserable for another four fucking years. i hatemyself i cant ever be happy. i think im happy, then i fucking get slapped int he goddamn face with this shit. i just want to impale myself with a rusty jagged knife, slowly, then turn, and sit onmy side till i slowly bleed to death. i hate myself. i love morgan, but i fucking hate myself. shooting myself in the head is too easy,. if i really wanted to do it, ill do it with a knife, and not thaty cutting shit, pain is what i deserve, and its what i get. im not fucking good at anything. i see all these people, christos and the guitarr, matt and his bass, ahnmin and volleyball, i feelso goddamn useless when nobody really needs me. and when fucking morgan treats me like shit. when she treats me like her boyfriend whne it suits her, and then only. i FEEL




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