rainbowbrightchica

my diary that i write in when im bored,
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2003-03-18 03:09:10 (UTC)

goodness

i just got mad at dad. what else is new? this time is was
about Casey. not casey in general, him coming over, because
its on a wednesday. dad was being a butt... no wiat let me
start over. i called becca to c if she could come over and
she doesn't know if she can or wants to because she dunno
how to get over here, and then wednesday she goes to
grandmas. so we talked and she started fussin at me about
havin him over at all, instead of like going out and i was
like 'becca im not allowed to go on dates alone you know
that" and i sstarted to get mad and cry and then she wanted
to talk to dad so she did and i could hear him trying nto
to talk about hme to her. i was so mad. dang it hes
upsetting me so much. doens't he realize that he's hurting
his relationship with me? and of all things to say, he
said "you have no right being alone with someone that much
older then you. its not even legal." i said "YES IT IS" and
he changed the subject fact but ooh he made me soooo mad by
saying that i almost yelled at him so loud. what does he
think i am a slut?! my own FATHER! i cant even trust my own
FATHER now. isnt that lovely? now im starting to cry again
the angers coming back. im so mad. im so dissapointed. its
like my whole familys against me. man. i wonder if mom
feels like this? how sad. dnag it im just so aggravated
right now. i kept starting to cry. it was like gut renching
sobs it was like silent(except for sniffles) but they sure
kept comin. dang it i hate crying i hate getting that mad.
the pain narggg ( quote "these wounds won't seeem to heal,
this pain is just too real... there's just too much that
time cannot erase") too true. ne way im going down to my
comp cuz its more me. bye. maybe next time i write ill be
happier. doubt it. who knows.


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