kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
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2003-03-18 01:01:22 (UTC)

I am really, really happy

I know it's been a while since I posted anything really
happy. I have great news that has made me very happy.

The source of my recent frustrations has become the source
of my new joy. I have to tell the whole story so bear
with me.

Saturday I talked to Dave for a while. He brought up that
I have been different when we have talked recently. I had
trouble believing him since I feel fine. I did notice he
kept asking me if I was ok. Like he would ask every time
we talked.

Anyway We talked a long time on Saturday night about him
being worried about his girlfriend's religion and how it
is affecting their relationship. She is mormon and was
having him help her lie to her Bishop about some things
such as sex and drinking. Obviously the Bishop must know
she has had sex since she has had a kid, but I am guessing
it was just further with Dave.

Also he said she was lieing to get back in the good graces
of the church and become a member again. That did not sit
well with me since the church was such an issue for the
two of them (dave and her) already.

Anyway he didn't get a good feel from the Bishop at all.
He described him as a creepy used car salesman type. I
was worried about her when he said that. Anyway, we
talked for a couple hours or so which was wonderful.

He asked me if something was different with me and I
mentioned that I have recently ahd trouble coming up with
things to talk about with him. I thought that was my only
reason for perhaps seeming different with him.

He went to bed and I laid down to go to bed. I suddenly
realized why I haven't been "normal" with him. He has not
been happy when I have talked to him. Our conversations
have been either short hellos or long drawn out convos.
The long drawn out convos have been him talking about not
liking his girlfriend's religion. We have talked at
length about his anxiety towards doing anything with her
church which I understand totally.

Also every time I ask him how he is doing he says "ok"
usually followed by a frazzeled emoticon. Or his day has
been really dull. I was worried about this and decided to
mention it to him. Anyway, I was up late thinking about
that and I did a little homework. I gave up on the
studying and laid down, but it took me a long time to fall
asleep. I was super worried about telling him what I have

So, Sunday afternoon we talked for a little while. It was
a short convo, but I felt much better after it. He did
admit that his life is confusing right now and he is
trying to make sense of things.

We also decided that when I am home we will get together.
I asked if he would be around and told him I would be
home. He got excited and said we ought to do something.
My biggest fear was taken away. I was worried that it
would be a long time before I would see him again.
Perhaps months or longer. I did not want to make him say
he wanted to see me when he didn't want to. As it was I
simply said I would be home and he jumped at the chance to
say we should get together.

We talked again Sunday night. He had not gone to see the
Bishop. Turns out his girlfriend has decided to leave the
church. She is going to wait till he gets back from
Atlantic City (he left this morning) before telling her
parents. I am hoping that a.) she does not chicken out
over the week and b.) her parents don't get upset and
disown her.

Dave was so worried about his mother disowning him because
of dating a Mormon. That so far has not happened. I am
wondering if his mother thinks he is serious about his
relationship or not.

He really gave me a sense last night that he is happy.
That is something I did not see before. I can see he is
happy, but not as happy as he really ought to be. Or at
least not as happy as I recall him being a year ago.

Anyway, to make things even better I bought a black
leather skirt yesterday for $9.99. I even got a reaction
out of dave to the pics I took of me in it.
He had to point out that I was nipping out because it was
a little cold in my room.

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