Colonel Mustard

Systematic Shut Down
2003-03-16 20:27:44 (UTC)

Craziest night EVER

Last night I went out on the town with Corey,
Corey's sister Cara, Dan Habib who was driving and Meghan
Marshall. We headed down to Thayer street and hung out for
awhile, getting ice cream, nutty butty bars and stealing
things from some store of which the name escapes me... I
stole 2 packs of juicy fruit and a box of condoms, studded.
We went down to The Army Surplus store and looked around a
bit. Dan wanted dog tags; I was in agreement until I saw a
hat I wanted. It was a city Camo Jungle hat, like the one
on this page:
http://www.armynavymilitarysurplus.com/Headwear-army-navy-
military/Jungle-Hats/military-jungle-hats-catalog2.asp
It was a small, sadly my had is not, and they don稚 take
exchanges so I wont be wearing it often, unless I shave my
head or something to get it on there. It fits all right but
not like it should.
We had to go drop meghan off after that, and while
we were in the rumford area again I went home and got $10.
When I came out to get in the car, Dan had moved down the
street a tad, so I walked over and he started to drive at
me! I hopped on the bumper first, as he sped up I got onto
the roof of the car, grabbing onto the edge of the hood
near the window so I wouldn稚 fall off. I didn't recognize
Dan because his window was dirty so I thought someone was
seriously trying to kill me. About 35mph and 100 feet later
Dan stepped on his breaks hard! I flew off the front of the
car, I had my feet facing down and I was semi upright, when
I hit the ground my ankles hit first and I was trying to
keep my head up so I didn't bust my head open. I did so
successfully with help of my ass, which cause me to hop
twice. I fixed my glasses, which I had landed on and ran
for the driver痴 door to pull Dan out, but it was locked.
My door was unlocked however, but I only had enough room to
bash his head into the steering wheel.
We were thinking whether or not to go to karaoke
or Rocky, eventually deciding on karaoke at the Roast
House. After realizing we only had $10 and the minimum was
$5 a head, which we would need $20 for, we decided to
leave. I had to take a piss first, so I went in between to
parked cars and whizzed all over the fucker痴 windows.
After paying $5 to the man who almost killed me for
gas, we headed back to Thayer street. We went over to
Spikes and then around to the back ally where Corey and
myself commandeered a shopping cart to aid us with the
effort to get onto the roof of Dunkin Donuts. We went over
to the roof and no one saw us, so we headed back down to
Dan and Cara.
After Andrew, got there with his friends we
started to have some real fun. Dans bro Nick drove buy in a
tow truck which they parked in the same spot where Dan had
smashed into a $80,000 BMW and only moved the car three
spaces down to avoid detection. The driver of the tow truck
was even more racist then me, which was really something
new to me.
The lot of us, about 9 in total, headed over to
Dunkin donuts where we just chatted until 10.
We headed back over to Spikes where Donnie was to
arrive soon to break the record of 18 hotdogs eaten in an
hour and a half. Some Brown students I would guess came
around with a video camera and filmed the entire event,
even interviewing the clerks about the contest at one
point. After about 5 dogs Donnie had had it, headed out
side for a nice puke but burped and headed inside. He got
another hot dog, which took most of the hour and a half to
eat. Mike came over and said he would give him a t-shirt
anyway.
After that we went back onto the roof where
everyone could see us this time. We were video taped and
photographed as well as told to jump by pedestrians on the
street, and people driving by in cars. We headed down after
a minute of being seen up there.
That痴 when I pulled he troll out and shoved
firecrackers up its ass. We lit on and blew a nice half-
inch hole in his butt. We put one in its hair, which was a
dud. Some 'narko' as Corey had put it called the cops on
us, so we headed out to Dan痴 car. We headed over to my
house around 12 to get the Molotov I had in my bedroom and
left again.
We drove around aimlessly a bit, looking for places
to throw the Molotov. We ended up at a cul-de-sac and we
all pissed on some pine trees. We then went over to brooks
and met up with Andrews痴 friend whose name I forget. We
were there for about 10 minutes, doing absolutely nothing.
I blew up one of the condoms, played volleyball with it for
a bit, then Andrew tried to pop it. He hit the condom with
one of his knives, it bounced away, he hit it again, it
bounced away, then, when it landed on the ground it popped
by itself.
We left and prepped the Molotov and the remaining
fireworks for some fun. We headed over to the trail,
throwing fireworks out the window all the while. We lit the
Molotov and drove away fast; the Molotov wasn't great
because we didn稚 have alcohol to put in it, just gasoline.
We threw a pack of fireworks in front of Alex Tirells
house, then headed home. Dan dropped Andrew off, then me
and I guess Corey stayed at Dan痴 house, I'm not sure. I
went to my room, disrobed and passed out, like a mofo I
guess.

This is going to be a great summer coming up.




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