6445bekiM

shake it once that's fine...

shake it twice that's ok, shake it three times....your
playing with yourself." oh man, im such a dork. so what?
good charlotte is one of my guilty pleasures. some of my
friends like em....course they're all fake, lil punker
girls, but whatever.
it's been a while since i've spilled my guts here. i
keep thinking of that alkaline song "another innocent
girl", he says "he likes to spill all of his guts on the
top of a well stacked pile, then swallow them bit by bit,
remembering every scar." i suppose that's what i do when i
write here. it's easier than writing by hand, a lot faster
too.
im not really sure what's going on. i've been drinking
an awful lot, so the past few weeks are kind of a daze. i
got my tattoo though, it took like 2.5 hours. i was the 6th
person tracey's tattooed, so she's still getting the hang
of it. it's not all the big, probably like 4 inches tall
and like 3 inches wide. it's just like a big swirl, it's
really a crop circle, but that's what it is, a big swirl.
shawn is kind of being a bitch. he keeps trying to set
me up with kristen, which isn't a bad thing, but he's all
like "when we chill, you'll be gettting laid later that
night." he just needs to stay outta my love life...not that
i have one. if i was really all that concerned about having
sex, i would have done something about it by now, ya know?
but i mean, i don't know what girl i like, i don't think
any of them like me, cause they're all just playing games
with my litte mind. devon did it on saturday, kristen...she
didn't but why would she like me. then there's sasha, and
that ashlee girl mike introduced me to and trisha and of
course, lauren. i think i should just stick with the giving
up on girls and get set to live alone for the rest of my
life.
i hope i die by the time im like 30, hopefully
my "wreckless" life will kill me. that'd be cool if i was
killed in a fire tiring to save a cat or something. i wanna
be forgetten, no hatefully remembered.
let's see what else....im still fat and still
smoking...and drinking...a lot more actually. i need to
find something else to do. i mean, everyone's been on
spring break, so that's what i've been doing. but i mean,
all i did last week was get drunk, eat horrible food and
shoot pool. im damn good at shooting stick thought. i
wasn't gonna get a pack of cigarette's today, but i did
anyway. by this time next month, i want to have quit
smoking, laying off pot (doesn't do much for me anymore
anyway) and keep the drinking to a minimum. i want to and
need to get in shape. i wanna go to the pool, show off my
tattoo and the others i plan on getting. i wanna have abs
and definition. that pack of camels i just bought, my last
one. i can't smoke if i don't have any cigarettes. plus im
not really addicted, so it shouldn't be that hard. i hope.
im gonna get up outta this bitch, PEACE.

mikeb