Orgy Chick

My thoughs
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2003-03-14 06:33:02 (UTC)

March 13 2003

This is my frist entrie, i don't really know why i'm
posting this i guess as a way to relieve stress. Well u
see i'm 19 years old and too stressed out. My friend scott
and I fight all the time and all i want to do is help him
but i don't know how. I get frustrated and snap at him and
he does the same i guess i don't really blame him, his life
isn't perfect ether. Last night i was talking to Brian.
Brian has been one of my friends since about greade 11 and
we goto the same college and everything. I used to really
like him, he was everything to me. I had a chance i think
back in grade 11 but he was to old for me than u see brian
is 3 years older, I know when ur 19 it doesn't seem like a
big deal but when ur 15 and he's 18 it is. At that point i
didn't really WANT him ether i liked him but i wasn't
obessesed that didn't happen till like my 17th birthday.
There was this party it wasn't for my birthday it just
happend to be on my birthday. well up to than brian and i
only really talked online cuz he was off at college and i
was in high school and we didn't really have anything to
get together over. We didn't have any mutal friends or
anything, you see i met him in my grade 11 math class (it
was his second tim though and i was fast tracking. When
i had gone to this party i had NO clue that he was going
to be there, but about 45 min after i got there he showed
up and we spent like the whole night together talking.
That was the night i became obessed with him. but that
ended about 9 months ago. HE went out with this one girl i
had been friends with but at the time (and still do) i
hated. I stayed friends with him and i still value his
opion of me. I think i always will. He never put up with
my bullshit he always told me straight up if he disagreed
with what i was doing. When i was talking to him last
night he was in a horrible mood he was supost to get off
work at 6 but the other guy never showed for his shift and
he had to work till 12:30 than he came home and went
online. I was talking to him about how I'm going to the
zoo with josh on Saturday. Well about Josh I really like
him except he's REALLY into S&M he's even had live-ins and
i don't know if thats something i wanna get into with him
but i can see myself doing stuff like that with him. i
don't know why. I wanna get to know him better though
frist and thats y i wanted to go to the zoo with him, and
the fact that we both love the zoo and he's never been
there in the winter. Brian was bitching at me because that
all i am is a tease i say i want someone but will never
touch them. but theres a reason for that: I'm scared.


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