KitKatPunker

Thoughts From My Twisted Little Brain
2003-03-14 01:30:56 (UTC)

Hot Tie and Sandals

This is my first entry here. I like it 'cuz it's free. My
life has pretty much been awful up 'till now. Nothing
especially bad has happened, I'm just lonely and unhappy.
My sister died about 3 and 1/2 years ago, but that's not
it. And my parents got divorced, but that was 11 years
ago. Something is just missing. But anyway, that's enough
background info. Wondering why this entry is entitled "Hot
Tie and Sandals"? That's what my boyfriend wore to school
today. It was like a California surfer brought over here
to the east coast, and man did he look hot. I guess I go
for that. He got a lot of flack from the yo's and
rednecks, but I don't really care what they think. He's
hot, and he's mine. I don't really know what I did to
deserve him. He's perfect. I go to church sometimes, but
I'm never happy there. I always get yelled at for not
doing something with the youth group. I'm sorry I have a
life. Haha. And it doesn't all revolve around church. My
brother-in-law is really starting to piss me off. He's
trying to be my father, which he never could be. No one
could be that great. He's always meddling in my life and
getting into my business. Frankly, I dislike him with a
firey passion. He sits outside my room and listenes to my
conversations when I'm on the phone. For Christ's sake, I
don't have a door. It's not like I can't hear him. My
bedroom is in the basement...the finished half. So the
opening to my room is too wide for a door, and we're too
poor to get double doors installed. So, I have a curtain
that I made. Its pretty cool. I like it. But anyway, I
can hear everyone/everything that comes down the steps.
The house is 15 years old...the stairs creak. There's no
way to be quiet. So I make sure that when he comes down, I
say dirty things that would get me in trouble...just to
make him go away. My Mom knows I don't do anything bad. I
mean, come on, I was raised in a Baptist church. Southern
Baptist...just imagine. Anyway, she doesn't have to worry
about me having sex...I don't. I'm not pretty enough. And
even if I was, I don't think I would have sex. It's not
the morality thing...that doesn't bother me too much. It's
that I'm scared I would get pregnant. I don't care what
they say about how effective birth control is...there's no
way. You can never be 100% positive...except for
abstinance. So, if for no other reason, that's why I don't
have sex. Maybe you all don't want to hear all of this.
Sorry. You should stop reading now. Actually, I'm
done...excuse me...finished [my Joshie (not my
boyfriend...that's Jon) would be very upset with me...he's
a freak about the done/finished thing.} So I'm out.




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