insecurity

Dealing with Me
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PropellerAds
2003-03-13 09:20:54 (UTC)

Crushes...

what do you do when you see a cute guy? how to you get
that absolutely gorgeous guy to kiss you? how can you
avoid being nervous around a guy? these things i have yet
to solve. i like (maybe even love) peter. he may be a
different race from me, but that's what i find so adorable
about him. he's not your gorgeous-hunk-type or the
mr.muscle-bound-type, but the normal, skinny, not-so-smart
popular guy. he is really nice and that's what i like
about him.

i realise that i'm one of those girls who will like guys
for who they are inside and not outside. There is this
guy, called Justin, sure, he's not much to look at
outside. Some even say he's ugly. But his true beauty is
inside and i like his spunk, his attitude, his sense of
humour. (i know that i am contradicting my last entry but
these are guys. their bodies can be covered up easily.)

Julian is also a really nice guy. he's funny and well,
nice! but he doesn't like me. he sooooo does NOT like me.
which is a pity, coz i like him too. i currently have
crushes on three guys, Justin, Peter and Julian. They're
really nice and i guess that's what i like about them. i
like this other guy called Stefan who's one year younger
than me but, he's definately out. i know my limits.

i am glad to say that even though i am fat and vertically
challenged (which i like to call myself instead
of 'short'), that there are three guys out there who like
me. one of them is peter. but he only likes me as a second
option to sondra, my supposed friend. more about that next
time. george, who i used to like but stopped, also likes
me. he told another girl who i suppose he was keeping as
second option. it's nice to know that some people regard
me as their first option. next is nicholas, who can be a
jerk at times but he's also quite nice. Take note that i
do NOT like nicholas and george. there is one more guy who
used to like me, but i don't know anymore, which
is...JUSTIN! i like the way justin told me about his
feelings the most. it was so sweet and original. he was
going off then he sang the song by Mandy Moore. it
was so ultimately sweet and even though i didn't like him
at the time, i thought he was very sweet.

the phrase "if it wasn't supposed to hurt, it wouldn't be
called a CRUSH" is right. i've had so many ups and downs.
more of the latter, and it depressed me at times. so many
things going through my head sometimes i don't know what
to listen to. crushes, crushes, crushes. what am i to do?
they're such complicated things! things you need to let
out but can't even to your best friends! isn't it weird? i
hope that one day (sooner is better than later) that peter
will one day say to me, "girl, i've got a CRUSH on u."


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