Deception's Disciple

Book of Lies
2003-03-13 06:58:42 (UTC)

More and more things stay the same

Well.... it has been a couple of weeks now, and still,
nothing has changed. I'm still talking with Pete and I'm
still dying to know who my secret crush is. If I haven't
mentioned before, I have been "sleeping" with Jay for a
while now, and resently he has been Jabbering on and on
about how he basically wants to expand in his sexual
experiences and look for someone else. See, the only thing
with that is 1: Jay has no one else.. and 2: Jay isn't the
most attractive guy on the PLANET. I can admit it, BUT he
is GREAT in the sack. Thus the reason I'm sleeping with him
and refuse him as my boyfriend. However, I think that I
have done too good a job at praising the help, because he
thinks that he's the shit, and it has gone STRAIGHT to his
head. Now frankily, I can go out any day now and get myself
another boy toy, I have no problem with that.... HECK, I
have areeady started to make other arrangements, however,
I'm used to the toy i have. I know that my agreement won't
be comprimised. Anyway, more to the point of this entry. I
am disgusted by the fact that you tell a guy one little
thing and he thinks that he can TRY and treat you like
you're subpar what the hell is up with that. I couldn't
take anymore of his "This girl can put her legs behind her
head" crap anymore so I cut the deal. And now I have to
hear him bitch and whine about getting another sexy girl to
fuck.... what the hell does that mean? What was wrong with
me? It's not like I weigh 175 pounds.... (anymore)..and he
liked it with me when I was that big.. I loose a little
weight (30 pounds) and I'm no longer desirable? How the
HELL does that work?? Anyway. I 'm not trippin. I have
Richard there to pinch my ass just so I don't have to pinch
it myself. But that's not saying much cause at this point I
think he'll pinch anything that needs to be pinched.

So the conclusion that I have come to at the end of this
is: Pete is really sweet, I have a secret admirer and I
need my butt pinched. I need a boyfriend, and fast. I don't
know how much longer i can put up the happy to be single
routine. It's tiring.... and depressing.




Ad: