Mark Gittner

Gay Guy juggles his life struggles.
2003-03-13 06:23:56 (UTC)

Almost not depressed today

It's amazing. I was almost not depressed when i was alone
today. sometimes i sit back and wonder how people cannot
see right through me. how they can't see the only reason i
go to work is so i am not alone with my family. how i
really detest some of the shitty, sexist, racist, bigoted
individuals i work with yet i hide it behind a smile and a
joke. I'm sure i must just exude loneliness and depression
when i know that no one is looking my way.

my one year anniversary of Jason and i breaking up is
looming over me, and i am so struggling no to think about
it every day, and not to cry, or even to call him and see
if he feels it like I do....

on the other hand... I'm NOT crying right now. I AM
enjoying some of the people and time I spend at work. AND
i'm not doing any drugs or anything to stay stable.

sigh. now if i could work on not feeling lonely in a
crowd...


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